Flashbacks
by GrnEydDvl
Summary: Hitsugaya Toushiro and Kurosaki Karin have a very illegal and secret relationship. When Karin starts having unusual dreams, they both look back on their time together and start to wonder; what punishment would they face if they got caught? HitsuKarin
1. The Dream

**Ok, so I'm a little disillusioned with "A Midsummer's Nightmare." I'm not scrapping it, but I'm just not enjoying writing it as much as I thought I would so I decided to start on this story sooner than I normally would have.**

**And just so you all know, the inspiration for this story came from animalgun. Thanks for the great idea!**

**And just to explain in advance, all dreams and flashbacks are written in italics. Sorry if that gets a little confusing.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any of its characters. I only own my own characters and ideas.**

_She was in pain. Oh, was she in pain. Who knew that hell was so __**hot**__? Her skin shriveled at the contact with the flames, but not to the point where it was destroyed entirely.__ Was that part of the torture, she wondered? Fire that burns but doesn't consume? And then suddenly, it was cool. Well, not cool exactly, more like freezing. But that could have been because she was encased in ice. Ice she recognized…_

Kurosaki Karin awoke with a start, drenched in cold sweat.

"It's just a dream," she whispered, trying desperately to calm herself. "Just a dream." She turned her head to gaze at the man sleeping peacefully beside her. His breathing was calm and steady, and his cheeks had a slight flush to them. He was warm when he slept, so different from the cold exterior he portrayed during the daytime. Karin usually relished the fact that she was the only one who was able see him like this, but right now, all she wanted was to have his body heat flow into her and provide her with some much needed comfort. She snuggled up close to him wrapping her arm around his waist as she did so. He groaned lightly at her movement and opened his eyes.

"Can't sleep?" he asked gently, smiling softly. That was another thing Karin loved about sleeping with him. He was so much more apt to smile when he was vulnerable in the middle of the night. He reached his hand up to wipe the hair off her brow and found that it was damp.

"Are you hot?" he asked. Karin shook her head.

"I had that dream again," she told him. "Only, there was more to it this time. I recognized the ice." He looked at her with concern.

"And…" he prompted, not entirely sure he wanted to hear the answer. He felt like he already knew, and he didn't like it.

"It was Hyourinmaru," Karin said simply, not meeting his gaze. That had confirmed both of their fears. He sighed, then put his hand on her chin to raise her face.

"You know I would _never_ do anything to hurt you," he said seriously. "I don't know why you're having these dreams, but it bothers me that you think I might…"

"I know perfectly well that you would never do anything like that," she stated flatly. "I don't know what these dreams are telling me, but whatever it is, I'm not going to listen to them. Maybe I've been hit in the head with a soccer ball one too many times." He smiled again and snaked his arm around her, kissing her softly as he did so. She lay her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, allowing his protective presence to wash over her, calming her nerves and relaxing her more than anything else possibly could.

"Good night Karin," he whispered tenderly.

"Good night Toushiro," she replied, falling back into slumber almost immediately.

ooooooooooooooooooo

When Karin awoke the next morning, Hitsugaya was gone. He always was. It used to bother her, but now she just accepted it as a necessary evil in their secret relationship. Love between a living soul and a shinigami was absolutely forbidden in Soul Society. It was one of the cardinal rules: Never fall in love with the living. And Karin and Hitsugaya had broken that rule so severely, Karin sometimes thought it was a miracle that shinigami didn't swoop down on her from all sides and drag her, bound and gagged, to Soul Society to face trial.

But they had been careful. As far as Karin could tell, no one knew, not even her family. Karin registered it as mildly amusing that her father and brother were completely oblivious to the fact that she had a guy in her bed every night. But then again, they had never been particularly observant. She thought that Yuzu suspected that she had a secret lover since she hinted at it every now and then, trying to pry information out of her.

_Karin entered the kitchen for breakfast in a very good mood. She had woken up when Hitsugaya left that morning, which meant that she had convinced him to stay a few extra minutes while she kissed him good morning._

_"You look happy today Karin-chan," Yuzu noticed. "Did you have a good dream?" Karin shrugged nonchalantly, taking the bowl of rice Yuzu was offering her._

_"Was it about someone special?" Yuzu asked slyly. Luckily, Karin managed to stifle her surprise at the question with a laugh._

_"Yeah right!" she joked. "Me with someone special, that'll be the day!" Yuzu pouted._

_"But Karin-chan," she continued eagerly. "You've been so happy lately! Are you sure you don't have a boyfriend or something?" Karin laughed heartily._

_"Yuzu," she replied, "please tell me which one of the idiots in our class I would date?" Yuzu considered this._

_"Hibiki-kun's cute?" Karin didn't have to pretend to scrunch up her face into a look of disgust._

_"Yeah, if you like pugs!" Yuzu giggled. "Face it Yuzu, there's no one around for me to date, even if I wanted to. You are forgetting the little fact that I have no intention of ever dating anyone!"_

_"But…" Yuzu protested._

_"No buts Yuzu," Karin insisted, laying her empty bowl on the table. "Boys are stupid. They're not worth the effort. Thanks for breakfast." And with that she swept out of the kitchen, wanting to get very far away from this conversation._

So Karin was pretty sure that Yuzu at least, knew that there was someone special in Karin's life. But as Yuzu knew nothing about Soul Society, and couldn't even see Hitsugaya without a gigai, Karin thought it was relatively safe. Besides, Yuzu wasn't dumb enough to mention any of her opinions to the rest of the family, (she knew exactly how their father and brother would react,) so there was no risk of a rumor spreading to Ichigo, who was the only real danger in the house due to his close connection with Soul Society.

He had almost caught them once. Karin had made it perfectly clear, ages ago, that no one was to enter her room at night on pain of death. But she had been sick. Really sick.

"_Achoo!" Karin sneezed, wiping her nose with a tissue and adding it to the overflowing mountain beside her bed. She felt awful. Hitsugaya placed a cold cloth on her forehead to attempt to stave off her burning fever._

"_Can't you do anything about this?" she groaned. "Don't you control the cold or something? Can't you lower my fever?" Hitsugaya shook his head._

"_Unfortunately, unless you want me to make it snow in here, or turn your blood into ice, I'm afraid there's very little I can do," he said sympathetically. Karin sniffled to keep her nose from dripping._

"_You shouldn't even be here," she reprimanded. "What would happen to your squad if you got sick?" Hitsugaya squeezed her hand._

"_Why don't you worry about recovering and I'll worry about my squad," he replied. "Besides, I shouldn't catch this. I'm pretty hearty."_

"_Oh, and I'm not?" Karin mocked. Hitsugaya smirked._

"_Not at the moment, no," he teased. Karin grinned._

"_Karin," Ichigo called, opening the door. "I brought you some soup…" It all happened so fast, Ichigo wasn't even entirely sure anything had occurred at all. He could have sworn he saw a figure sitting beside Karin's bed, but before he could blink, the person had vanished and Karin was livid._

"_Ichi-nii!" she screamed as loud as her hoarse voice would allow. "Don't you knock!? What have I told you about coming into my room at night!?" Ichigo was slightly confused._

"_Was there someone in here?" he asked cautiously. Ichigo knew perfectly well how painful Karin's anger could be. At least, painful for those she was directing it towards. Even when she was deathly ill, he did not want to serve as her punching bag. Karin glared at him._

"_Does it look like someone's in here?" she shot back at him, folding her arms across her chest. Ichigo surreptitiously glanced towards the closet, but the door was wide open. There was no shadow visible under her bed. Unless the person in question had jumped out the window in under a second, no one but Karin had been in the room._

"_Sorry," Ichigo apologized. "It must have been a shadow or something."_

"_That's not what you need to apologize for," Karin huffed. Ichigo sighed._

"_Alright, alright, I'm sorry I came in your room without knocking!" he caved. "God, you teenagers and your privacy."_

"_I'm entitled to it!" Karin insisted. "You hate it when people barge in on you too, I know you do." Ichigo shrugged._

"_Whatever. Eat your soup."_

_About ten minutes later, Hitsugaya snuck back into the window._

"_That was close," he said gravely. "If you hadn't asked me to open the window…"_

"_Forget about it," Karin said, waving it away. "Ichi-nii won't come in again, don't worry. He didn't see you. We're safe." Hitsugaya wasn't entirely convinced, but decided that there was nothing he could do about it, so he shouldn't let it bother him. _

Luckily, Ichigo never mentioned the incident again, and Karin was pretty sure that he had forgotten all about it.

Karin got dressed for school, trying to ignore the ominous feeling that was drilling a hole in the pit of her stomach. Her dream was still bothering her. She had been having the same one every couple of nights for the past month. It was getting progressively longer each time. It started off with just seeing the hell gates, but was followed quickly by the burning pain. Two weeks ago, she had seen the ice for the first time. Last week, it surrounded her. And then last night, she was sure that the ice belonged to Hyourinmaru.

Karin didn't exactly know what to make of the dream. Neither did Hitsugaya, that was clear enough. Karin had never had a prophetic dream before so she was pretty convinced that there was nothing to this one. It was just some nighttime annoyance. But then why wouldn't it go away?

**Ok, that's the beginning. It's a slightly darker story than I usually write, but I kind of like the concept. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!**


	2. Firsts

**Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed. I will explain some of the holes from the last chapter in this one (particularly how old they are) so don't worry.**

**Warning: This chapter gets a little hot. Not exactly M rating hot, but if you are overly sensitive about sexual suggestions, then you have been warned.**

Hitsugaya stared at his paperwork and sighed. He really had no interest in it today. Leaving Karin that morning had been more difficult than it usually was. Of course, he was accustomed to slipping silently out of bed and through the window at the crack of dawn, but that morning he had lingered just a little longer than usual, not wanting to leave her presence. That dream she kept having bothered him. A lot. Anything that caused her pain caused him pain, but the fact that the ice she had been seeing was actually Hyourinmaru…Hitsugaya didn't want to think about what that meant.

He stood and went to the window, sitting on the sill as he watched the clouds float lazily in the sky. How long had they been together? He couldn't quite remember. Six years? Yes, it must have been six. He fallen in love with her during his stay in Karakura, right before the Winter War, but had remained silent about it, knowing how illegal his feelings were. He smiled ever so slightly at the memory of the night he had left Karakua.

_He had to get Ichigo. Yamamoto soutaicho wanted to speak to all of them and for some reason, he had been the one who was convinced to go. Rukia was too worried about Inoue, Matsumoto was intent on fixing the commutation problems, and Ikkaku and Yumichka had gone to get Renji from the Urahara Shop, so really there was no other choice. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to go anywhere near that house. Karin was at that house, and he didn't want to face her. He didn't think he had the strength of will to say goodbye to her. But that was easy enough. It was dawn, she would be asleep. Right?_

_No such luck. He rounded the corner onto the street, and there she was, wrapped up in a dressing gown, hair blowing wildly in the gusts of wind from the storm that was brewing ominously. But her face didn't match her surroundings. She didn't look like an abandoned lover gazing wistfully into the distance. She looked pissed. Really pissed._

_"So you were just going to leave without saying goodbye?" she spat. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow._

_"What about this looks like I'm not saying goodbye?" he said sarcastically. "I'm here, you're here, I'm leaving. Isn't that what goodbye means?" Hitsugaya expected her to laugh at that, but instead her face fell._

_"I just know you," she said sadly, desperately fighting back tears. "I know that you had no intention of saying goodbye to me. Just like you had no intention of telling me you loved me." Hitsugaya gaped at her._

_"How did you know?" he asked stunned. Usually he was so good at hiding his emotions. She smiled, even though a tear was sliding down her face._

_"I didn't," she admitted. And then she was kissing him, hungrily, passionately, greedily. And he responded in kind, holding her close to him, wanting this moment to last forever._

_"Promise you'll come back to me," she whispered, clinging to him for dear life._

_"I promise," he replied, burying his face in her neck._

He had left, fought a war, won a war, and returned, just like he promised. But his return had been a secret, as had all his subsequent visits. So it had been six years since their reunion. Four since they started sleeping together. It had been once a week or so at first, but now it was nearly every night. It was the only thing that kept him going, all that "got him out of bed in the morning," if that phrase can be used here. But at the same time, he knew it was wrong. Oh, it was illegal, of course it was illegal, he had known that from the beginning. But that wasn't what bothered him.

Karin was getting older. And although, for some unknown reason, he was aging faster than he should be, and might now pass for fourteen, he still looked quite a bit younger than her. And that was something that would never change. As the years went by, Hitsugaya watched his lover grow from a sprightly girl into a young woman. A beautiful young woman of seventeen, with a full life ahead of her. A life he knew he shouldn't be a part of. That was why the law existed after all. He had mentioned his concern to her once. It was the only time she had ever truly been furious at him.

_"What's wrong?" she demanded. They were sitting beside the river, watching the water turn orange in the light from the setting sun._

_"What do you mean?" he asked innocently, skipping a stone across the river's surface. Karin pushed him._

_"Don't play dumb!" she scolded. "Something's bothering you. I can tell." Hitsugaya sighed. He stared unseeingly at the water._

_"Are you sure this is alright?" he asked tentatively. "I mean, us." Karin narrowed her eyes._

_"Look, if you're going to break up with me, just do it. Don't beat around the bush like a loser, making stupid excuses." He turned to look at her, and the hurt in his eyes was apparent._

_"Do you want to break up?" he asked painfully. Karin smirked._

_"Of course not!" she stated soundly. "And you don't either. So what the heck are you going on about? You're not afraid of getting caught are you?"_

_"No," he replied. "It's worth risking the punishment to be with you. It's just…"_

_"Spill!" she insisted. Hitsugaya sighed._

_"Well, you're still alive. You're aging so much faster than me. This can't work forever. Sooner or later…" but he didn't get a chance to finish. SMACK!_

_Now, Karin had hit him before, but never hard and always in jest. But she had never slapped him before. Like he had violated her. Hitsugaya clutched his cheek, but it wasn't his stinging skin that bothered him._

_"If you think I'm so shallow as to dump you in the dust just because I'm getting a bit older, than you clearly know nothing about me!" she said dangerously. "I love you, Hitsugaya Toushiro, and that won't change no matter how much older than you I look!"_

_"But," Hitsugaya protested, "I can never marry you and I can't move to the living world. We can never be together the way we want to be. Can you really spend the rest of your life living this secret?"_

_"Can you?" she threw his own words back at him and they stung him much more painfully than her slap had. Of course he could. The thought had never even crossed his mind._

_"If I choose to spend my life with a secret lover then that's my choice to make," she continued. "You're worth that much to me. And if you ever make me say something sappy like that again, I'll kill you!" Hitsugaya smirked and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. Thankfully, she didn't protest._

That had been just over a year ago. Hitsugaya had never mentioned it again, but the thought still bothered him sometimes. He smiled at the memory of that night. Yes, surprising, but while that had been their first real fight, it had also been their first time doing something else.

_That night they held each other closer than they ever had before. Maybe it was because of the fight, but for some reason, that night their need for one another had reached epic proportions. Wrapped tightly in each other's arms, Hitsugaya couldn't get enough of the feel of her skin, the smell of her hair, the taste of her lips. His hands explored her body, venturing into places they had never been brave enough to go before. And instead of objecting, Karin had allowed it, even egged him on. But it had been she who began undressing first._

_"Karin?" Hitsugaya asked in a strangled voice, his heart racing uncontrollably as he watched her remove her shirt. Karin didn't respond. She simply smiled, then made quick work of his clothing before he had time to fully comprehend what was going on._

_Karin looked deeply into his eyes, and they shared a silent conference. They were the best at that, Hitsugaya being one of few words, and Karin being the most insightful person he knew. They both wanted this, that was clear. They wanted it more than anything. To prove their mutual devotion and to solidify their promise to each other; to be together forever despite the odds, despite the secrets, despite__the danger. She pounced on him and they spent the rest of the night in euphoric bliss._

That time had been the first of many, and had truly confirmed the seriousness of their relationship. From that night on, unless he was on a mission or stationed on patrol somewhere, he was always in her arms. He knew it was foolish to spend so much time in the living world, and that the more time he was away from Soul Society, the more likely he was to arouse suspicion, but he just couldn't bring himself to care. Karin was more important to him than anything else in the world, so he took increasing risks for the opportunity to spend as much time with her as possible.

The door to the office slid open and Matsumoto sauntered in.

"Taicho, are you alright?" she asked with concern. He only sat on the window sill like that when something was bothering him. "Is there something you want to talk about?"

Personally, Hitsugaya was amazed that Matsumoto of all people appeared to be completely oblivious about his relationship with Karin. She never noticed his conspicuous absence at night and she never even dropped subtle hints that he might have a secret relationship with someone. It was so out of character for her that several times Hitsugaya had almost been on the verge of flat out asking her if she knew what was going on. But even if she did know, Hitsugaya was sure that she would protect his secret with her life. He trusted her implicitly. Part of him thought that she knew and was keeping silent about it to help him maintain the façade of the secret. But he could never be quite sure.

"Matsumoto," he said with a sigh. "I'm not in the mood to work today. Let's just take the day off." Matsumoto nearly fainted.

"Ok, now I _know_ you're ill!" she said frantically, running over to him and placing her hand on his forehead. "Maybe you should go to 4th squad." Hitsugaya pushed her hand away.

"Look," he said annoyed. "Don't complain about a day off. Just be grateful." Matsumoto brightened up almost instantly.

"Alright taicho! See you later!" She bounded to the door, but paused briefly before leaving.

"You know where I am if you need me," she said seriously. Hitsugaya nodded, appreciative of her understanding even though they both knew full well that he would never take her up on her offer.

"Thanks Matsumoto," he whispered to her retreating back.

**I promise to explain the Hitsugaya getting older quickly thing. It will be important later, I didn't do it just to make the whole thing less awkward (although it helps).**


	3. Birds

The teacher droned on about sentence structure or something, but Karin wasn't paying much attention. She cupped her head in her hands, praying for the school day to be over so she could go outside and play soccer. It was an absolutely gorgeous day. The sun was streaming in through the window and she could hear birds chirping outside.

Karin envied the birds. They were free. No school, no secrets, they could fly on the wind, going wherever they wanted without worrying about getting caught, worrying about responsibilities, worrying about nightmares that wouldn't go away.

She fiddled lovingly with the charm around her neck. It was the only piece of jewelry she owned. It was a very thin gold chain upon which dangled a figure of a bird, wings stretched out wide, ready to take flight.

_They had gone for a walk in the woods. It was a crisp fall day and the red and orange leaves crunched under their feet as they wandered along the winding trail. Karin looked up to see the birds flying in a characteristic V formation and smiled._

_"What's up?" Hitsugaya asked, noting the change in her mood._

_"Do you ever wish you were a bird Toushiro?" she asked, then burst out laughing at the bewildered look on his face._

_"Birds have the best of all worlds," she continued. "They nest on land, but whenever they want to, they can take flight and soar above the clouds, completely free, completely unbound. Sometimes…" she paused, but there was no reason to be embarrassed with Hitsugaya. She could tell him this secret. "Sometimes, I wish I could fly."_

_"You do?" he asked, and for once, Karin couldn't quite read his expression. He looked amused and thoughtful._

"_Of course!" she said exuberantly. "Who doesn't really? But all I can do is pretend." She chuckled._

"_Come fly with me Toushiro," she said joyfully, then started running around like a small child, flapping her arms like wings and laughing her head off at her immature behavior._

_She felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist and was suddenly hoisted up into the air. She should have been scared out of her wits at the feeling of her feet leaving the ground, but she felt infinitely safe in that protective embrace._

_"Ok, let's fly," Hitsugaya whispered in her ear. She turned her head to look over her shoulder and gasped. Hitsugaya had sprouted wings, imposing and majestic wings composed of pure ice. They opened wide as he soared higher, leaving the forest far below them._

_"Is this your bankai?" Karin marveled. "I've never seen it before." Hitsugaya nodded._

_"But, should you be using it when you're not fighting?" she asked. He smirked._

_"There are a lot of things I shouldn't be doing right now," he replied. "Being in the living world is one. Holding you in my arms is another. So what's the big deal if I add a third?" Karin snickered, then focused her attention towards the view of the multicolored forest that spread out far beneath them, and Karakura town, visible in the distance. Hitsugaya climbed higher and higher, up towards the clouds. Karin could feel the cool air biting her skin and her eyes watered, but she forced them to stay open, wanting to savor every second. They passed through a cloud and came out the other side drenched to the skin, but Karin simply laughed. She waved merrily at the passing birds, feeling like she had become a part of their unreachable world._

_Eventually, Karin's body had become numb with cold and Hitsugaya returned to earth. Both of their hair was wild and windswept and their clothes were soaked, but they didn't care. They had just had the most memorable afternoon of their lives._

_A week later, Karin had awoken to find the bird shaped necklace lying on her pillow._

Incidentally, it had been a bird that had brought about a discussion of the punishment Hitsugaya and Karin would face if they were caught. Remembering that conversation made Karin think of her dream again, which made her anxious again and furious at herself for remembering the repeating nightmare, which she had been trying all morning to forget.

_It was hot. Really hot. It was the middle of summer and the sun poured down on them, baking their skin. Beads of sweat rolled down their foreheads and Karin had just downed her sixth bottle of water._

_"Damn, why did I come here today?" Hitsugaya asked, wiping his brow. "It's much cooler in Soul Society."_

_"I'd hit you, but it's just too hot today to start a fight," Karin replied. "The better question is why our air conditioner chose today of all days to inhale a field mouse. You know, it's going to take a week to repair it. Two if my idiot dad decides to try to fix it himself, since he'll waste his time messing around with it and end up disassembling the entire thing beyond repair before he finally admits defeat and has to buy a new one." Hitsugaya smirked and pointed to a large tree._

_"Let's go sit in the shade," he offered, and Karin agreed wholeheartedly. They collapsed at the base of the tree and Karin fanned herself with her hand. Suddenly, they heard a soft plop and Hitsugaya bolted upright._

_"What the…?" he began, running his fingers through his hair. He pulled his hand away and his face contorted into a look of total disgust as he pulled a white and grey goo out of his hair._

_"What the heck is this?" he asked angrily. Karin couldn't hold in her laughter. She fell onto her back, rolling in the grass, laughing so hard it brought tears to her eyes._

_"Toushiro," she gasped though her fit, "that's bird poop!"_

_"WHAT?!" Hitsugaya screamed, causing said bird to alight from the tree. Hitsugaya's face was bright red from fury, Karin's from hilarity. She passed him her water bottle and he dumped the entire thing on his head, then shook like a wet dog._

_"Ew," Karin cried. "Don't splatter it over here!" Hitsugaya shot her a look of death, which only caused her to laugh harder._

_When he was finally clean and Karin had calmed down somewhat, he asked,_

_"Do I still have any on me?" Karin shook her head, trying not to laugh again. "It's not funny!" he yelled, and Karin's amusement deflated at the tone of voice he used. It was way too serious for the situation._

_"I can't go back to Soul Society with bird poop on me," he continued. "We don't have birds in Soul Society, animal souls don't go there. If anyone recognizes what it is, they'll know I've been here." Karin understood the gravity of that statement, so she looked him over careful and assured him that all the excrement had really been removed._

_"Neh, Toushiro," Karin began, "what would happen if…if we really did get caught?" Hitsugaya sighed deeply and leaned back on the tree trunk._

_"I don't really know," he said truthfully. "There hasn't been a case of a living/shinigami relationship in a long time. There are such severe restrictions on how much time we're allowed to spend in the living world and we rarely have long term assignments specifically to prevent them from occurring. I don't know the details, but I know the punishment is awful. I'd probably be stripped of my position and you…I really don't know what would happen to you. I know they would punish you as well, and I know the punishment is supposed to be brutal but..." he trailed off, unable to finish. He really didn't want to think about Karin being punished._

_They sat in silence for a while, processing his words. They had never actually discussed the consequence of what they were doing. They had always said, "Let's not get caught," and left it at that._

_"Don't worry about it," Hitsugaya said seriously, gazing deeply into her eyes, trying to shake off the depressing mood they had created. "We've been careful so far and we'll continue to be. No one will find out." Karin nodded, but she just couldn't bring a look of hopefulness to her eyes._

Karin had thought about that conversation a lot over the past month, ever since she started having that dream. She just couldn't shake the feeling that the dream was a foreshadowing of some sort of punishment. She hadn't discussed these thoughts with Hitsugaya. There was no need. She tried to push them away, but they lingered like an unwanted odor, always present, nagging her somewhere in the back of her mind.

She shook her head and tried to focus her attention on the front of the room where her teacher had moved onto vocabulary. But she was finding it rather difficult. The teacher was so boring! Karin felt her eyes starting to close and she forced them open. The last time she fell asleep in class, she had been stuck washing blackboards after school for two weeks. But the breeze from the window was so soothing…

_The gates of hell rose slowly and ominously from the ground, the skeleton guardians looking like zombies in their dusty bandages. Karin had only seen them once before, but it was a difficult sight to forget._

_And then she heard a voice. A booming yet scratchy voice, like an old oak rocking chair._

_"Kurosaki Karin," stated the unfamiliar voice. "As punishment for seducing a taicho of the Gotei 13, and to set an example for all future shinigami, you have been sentenced to an eternity in hell. May your suffering and the suffering your sentence causes your illegitimate lover serve as a reminder to all of the severity of the crime you have committed." Karin tried to protest, to fight back, but her arms were bound behind her back and there was a piece of cloth tied across her mouth. She tried to turn her head to look for the speaker, for Hitsugaya, or any other familiar face, but two burly guards blocked her view._

_The doors in front of her creaked open and Karin could see the hellfire burning inside. The guards behind her pushed her, and she lost her balance due to the force and toppled through the hell gate._

_Then she felt the pain. Every ounce of her body was aching, crying out for respite that she knew would never come. This was her punishment; the result of a six year affair with a shinigami. She had been warned that a fate worse than death awaited her if they ever got caught, but she never believed that that would actually happen. But clearly, it had. Somehow, they had been found out._

_The gates behind her began to close. She thought she heard shouting and someone call her name, but she could barely hear them. The world beyond seemed so far away._

_And then the ice rushed in. Karin welcomed it. The frozen chill would be bliss compared to the scalding flames. Hyourinmaru consumed her, wrapping around her with the same love and tenderness as his wielder. And, for some reason she couldn't explain, Karin felt safe. She understood exactly what Hyourinmaru was doing there._

_Hitsugaya was going to kill her. That was his mercy, the final proof of his devotion to her. He was going to kill her and spare her an eternity in the bowels of hell. She closed her eyes, basking in her arctic surroundings, welcoming the relief that death would provide. She felt the slight tug of the ice and knew that it would all be over soon._

"_Thank you, Toushiro," she thought gratefully._

Karin woke with a start to see her teacher hovering over her looking extremely cross.

"Kurosaki!" she said dangerously. "It will be a month of cleaning duty this time!" But Karin really didn't care at the moment. She had much more important things to worry about.

**Wow, lots of emotions in this chapter. It's a little bit of a roller coaster, but I think that makes for a more interesting story in a way.**


	4. Protecting Both of Them

"What's wrong with you today Kurosaki?" her friend shouted as Karin missed the goal for the third time.

"Shut up!" Karin retorted. She wasn't even looking at the goal. All she wanted was to take out her aggression on the soccer ball. She didn't care where it went. And her mind was definitely not in the game.

The dream she had had in class confirmed all her fears and produced several new ones. This dream had been more complete than all its predecessors. Previously, there had only ever been pain and visions of fire and ice. Never before had she heard words or understood her own thoughts and emotions so candidly. It had also been less hazy than it usually was; much less like a dream and much more like a memory. A memory of something that hadn't occurred yet.

They were going to get caught. Someone was going to find out about them, turn them in, and Karin was going to be sentenced to a lifetime in hell. And Hitsugaya…was going to kill her.

Lost in her own thoughts, Karin didn't notice where she was going.

"Kurosaki!" her friends cried, trying to get her attention, but before Karin registered their voices or her location, she had barreled head first into the steel pole of the soccer goal.

_It had been three months. Three months since had she had forced Hitsugaya to confess on that stormy dawn morning before he disappeared to go fight some war. A war who's severity she had only just begun to understand._

_She tromped up the hill. It was a little out of the way, but she had added it to her route home. The rail at the top had been his favorite place to sit and watch the sky, the one place where she knew she could always find him when she wanted him. And that desire hadn't changed. Every time she walked up this hill, she almost began to hope that he would be sitting there casually, typing on his phone, like no time had passed. But she never expected him to actually be there._

_The rail at the top of the hill came into view, and Karin did a double take. Was that…naw, it couldn't be. But he did have white hair. Karin broke into a run._

_He didn't turn to look at her, but she could see his normally icy eyes soften just a bit as she approached, and that was enough for her. She swung her legs over the rail and sat down beside him._

_"You know," he said after a while, "it's illegal for me to be here right now." Karin stared at him. She didn't know that._

_"Oh?" she asked causally, hoping he would elaborate._

_"I'm not supposed to come to the living world without a reason," he continued. "And I'm not supposed to have anything to do with a living woman. It's against the law. I could be severely punished for this." Karin gaped at him._

_"Then what the heck are you doing here?" she asked angrily. Hitsugaya smirked slightly._

_"I promised you I would come back," he replied._

_"But that's so stupid!" Karin cried heatedly. "If you're going to be punished, then leave! Why are you risking that?"_

_"Because I want to be here," he said seriously, turning to look at her for the first time. Their eyes met and Karin could see more emotion in them than she ever had before. "Because I want to be with you." And with that he leaned forward and captured her lips in his own. Karin wanted to pull away, to tell him that she had changed her mind, that she didn't love him anymore and he should just go back to Soul Society where he belonged. But she couldn't do it. She couldn't tell that blatant lie. And she couldn't break out of this kiss._

_"You idiot," she whispered, holding him tightly to her. She could feel his cheeks move and broke away from him, wanting to see the genuine smile that had crept across his face. _

_"Coming from you," he teased, "I'll take that as a compliment."_

"Is she alright?"

"Maybe we should call for help?"

Karin's head was aching and she felt horribly dizzy. She opened her eyes and willed the world to come into focus. Four very concerned friends stared back at her.

"Kurosaki!" one said with relief. "How do you feel?"

"Awful," she admitted, trying to sit up.

"Wow, that must have been painful," another friend noted. "For you to start crying."

"What?!" Karin shouted furiously. "I did not cry!" But she reached up a hand to touch her face and could feel the characteristic wet lines traveling from her eyes down her cheeks.

"I didn't…" she began, but she couldn't finish, as tears that had nothing to do with the pain in her head and everything to do with the flashback she had had while unconscious, threatened to spill out.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Karin was pacing her room furiously, waiting for Hitsugaya to arrive. She always got antsy and impatient at this time of night, but tonight was even worse. She wasn't looking forward to what she was about to do, but she knew it had to be done. She had to protect both of them. Even if it broke her heart. Finally, she heard the characteristic swoosh of cloth at the window and Hitsugaya landed silently on her floor.

"Hi," he said, coming over to her for a kiss. But Karin got there first. She threw herself on him, kissing him for dear life, as if this would be the last time she would have the chance to hold him in her arms.

"Karin, are you alright?" he asked when she was finally done. There was something in the way she was kissing him that told him something was wrong. She was way too needy.

"I love you Toushiro," Karin said sadly. "Which is why you have to leave." Hitsugaya was utterly stunned.

"What?" he asked flabbergasted, not comprehending what she was saying. "Why?"

"Because we're going to get caught," she said urgently. "Really soon. Someone is going discover us, if they haven't already, and we're going to be punished."

"How do you know this?" Hitsugaya asked with concern.

"Just trust me, ok," Karin said desperately, not wanting to recall the dream to him. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that he was going to kill her. And that she would love him for it.

"No," he said with conviction, and Karin checked at his tone of voice. "I'm not going anywhere. We've gotten this far, there's no reason to think that anyone will find out at this point…"

"Look," Karin cut him off. "I'm not asking you to leave. I'm _telling_ you to leave. Please get out. And…and don't come back." The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife.

"Karin," Hitsugaya said seriously. "I know you don't feel this way. Why are you doing this? What are trying to protect me from?" Karin didn't want to answer that.

"I believe, Hitsugaya taicho," she said icily, "that you have just been dumped. Now get out of your ex-girlfriend's room before she screams." Hitsugaya didn't know what to do. He had no idea what to say to her to get her to explain her motives. Turning back towards the window, he tried desperately to think of something to say. But his voice seemed to have evaporated. He lingered for a moment, praying she would change her mind, or at least explain herself. Nothing.

"I love you Karin," he whispered. "I always will." Then, without a backwards glance, Hitsugaya jumped out into the night. And, for the second time that day, Kurosaki Karin started to cry.

oooooooooooooooooooo

Hitsugaya landed smoothly on the ground outside Karin's window and his heart stopped dead. Standing there, waiting for him, was Matsumoto.

"Let's go taicho," she said urgently. "They're looking for you."

**Sorry to leave you with such suspense, but hey, it's a really good chapter ending. You know it is.**


	5. The Heavenly Guardian

No one in Soul Society knew Hitsugaya Toushiro better than Matsumoto. She had served as his loyal and trusted fukutaicho for way too many years not to know absolutely everything about him. She knew his mannerisms and unusual habits, embarrassing stories from when he was a child, and how he liked his eggs. She had even seen him naked once, although that had been an accident involving a mislabeled sign and a very sorry bath house attendant. So when Hitsugaya began having a relationship with a girl from the living world, Matsumoto had noticed almost immediately.

Oh he was subtle about it, that was certain. Matsumoto was actually impressed that she noticed at all, and took it as a sign that she definitely understood Hitsugaya in a way that was almost abnormal. But the added millimeter to the angle of his mouth when he smirked, the decrease in the number of times he sighed in a day by about one, and the infinitesimal drop in the decibel level of his voice when he shouted at her clued Matsumoto in to the fact that something secret and wonderful was taking place in her taicho's life.

And then there was the day she finally figured out that it was Karin. Again, Matsumoto wasn't entirely sure whether she should be proud or disgusted that she knew her taicho so well, but it had been so obvious to her that he might as well have just come out and said it.

_Matsumoto had been conned into doing some work, so she sat in the office with Hitsugaya, mulling over a report from 7__th__ squad, when there was a knock on the door._

_"Hitsugaya taicho," Ukitake said from outside. "Are you here?"_

_"Yes Ukitake," Hitsugaya replied. Ukitake slid the door open and approached Hitsugaya's desk. Matsumoto put down her report to listen._

_"Is there something I can do for you?" Hitsugaya asked, not unpleasantly._

_"Actually…"Ukitake began, but was cut off by a sudden coughing fit._

_"Oi! Are you alright," Hitsugaya asked with concern, bolting out of his chair. Matsumoto did the same and the two of them led Ukitake over to the couch. Matsumoto handed him a cloth to wipe the blood off his face and hands._

_"I'm sorry," Ukitake said apologetically when he had calmed down._

_"Don't apologize," Hitsugaya growled. "What are you doing anyway, coming all the way over here when you're not feeling well? You could have sent a subordinate." Ukitake smiled weakly._

_"I could have," he said, "but then I would have missed seeing you fuss over me." Hitsugaya scowled and Matsumoto burst out laughing._

_"Anyway," Hitsugaya continued, "what did you come here for?" Ukitake slid his hand in his pocket and pulled out a shinigami representative badge._

_"I had this made for Ichigo," he explained. "He says his isn't working so well anymore. They tend to lose their effectiveness after a year or so, and he's had his for almost two. But, because it's such a dangerous item in the wrong hands, it has to be delivered by a taicho. I was going to do it, but as you can see, I'm not feeling so well and I'm not sure I'm up to the trip. Can you…"_

_"Of course I'll take it," Hitsugaya replied, and Matsumoto checked. She knew Ukitake didn't notice anything out of the ordinary about Hitsugaya's response, but she sure had. First of all, he had cut Ukitake off before he could finish the question. Second, he had already reached out his hand to take the badge. Third, his eyes had lit up ever so slightly. And fourth, there was a slight note in his voice that wasn't usually present, like he was excited by the prospect of going to see Ichigo. All of those signs showed Matsumoto how eager he was to fulfill Ukitake's request. And considering the fact that Ichigo usually annoyed the heck out of him, there was only one logical explanation; Hitsugaya didn't want to go to see Ichigo. He wanted to go to see someone else. Or, more specifically, for once he had permission to see that someone else. Matsumoto smiled. She had finally discovered what was making her taicho so happy. It was Karin._

Matsumoto was no fool. She knew exactly how much trouble her taicho would be in if he was caught. Ordinarily, she would have been all over him upon discovering that he had a lover, but this was different. This wasn't some Rukongai girl, or someone from their squad; this was Kurosaki Karin, and she was alive.

So Matsumoto had taken it upon herself to protect their secret. She never even dropped a single hint to Hitsugaya that she was aware of what was going on, knowing that he would feel safer if he thought that no one knew. And she covered for him. The number of excuses she had come up with for where her taicho had disappeared to had to be counted among her greatest achievements. They were subtle, believable, and guaranteed not to arouse suspicion. She was careful to use the right ones at the right time and to keep track of them all. Honestly, she wondered sometimes what her taicho would do without her. There was no way his secret could have lasted as long as it had without her assistance.

But Matsumoto always worried that one time, her excuses wouldn't be enough. And tonight had been that time.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

Bang, bang, bang.

Matsumoto was just getting ready for bed when she heard pounding on the door to the room next to hers. She froze. That was her taicho's room, and she knew he wasn't there.

"Hitsugaya taicho!" yelled a frantic voice. "Hurry, we need you!"

"Taicho's not here at the moment," Matsumoto said, stepping out of her room. "He likes to train in Rukongai at night so he doesn't disturb people with the weather change. Can I help you?" The shinigami, who Matsumoto recognized instantly as a member of 4th squad, turned to her, worry written all over his face.

"No," he said in a rush. "I'm sorry, Matsumoto fukutaicho, but we need Hitsugaya taicho specifically. Ukitake taicho had an attack, but it was much worse that his usual ones. His lungs are starting to shut down. Unohana taicho said that the only thing that can save him now is the Heavenly Guardian." Matsumoto gasped. It was common knowledge that Hitsugaya was believed to be the reincarnation of the Heavenly Guardian, who came to earth every 1,000 years to protect those who protected souls. In other words, he had unusual healing abilities, but they could only be used on select people. Ukitake would definitely count among those people. Matsumoto understood the gravity of the situation and knew that, secret or no, she had to get Hitsugaya. Ukitake's life was at stake.

"Very well," Matsumoto said. "I'll go get him."

"I'll come with you…" the 4th squad member began, but Matsumoto cut him off.

"No!" she barked, then realized how harsh that sounded.

"Sorry," she apologized. "Just…just go back to Ukitake taicho. Tell them I've gone to get taicho." And with that, she shunpoed towards the senkai gate, hiding her reiatsu as she did so. She didn't want anyone to know that she had gone to the living world at a time like this.

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

Matsumoto came out of the gate and ran through the familiar streets of Karakura town. It had been six years since she was last here, but she could never forget where the Kurosaki Clinic was.

She paused just outside the house, wondering what to do now. She didn't want Ichigo to know that she was here, that would blow her taicho's secret, but she also didn't want to simply climb in the window of Karin's room. But before she had a chance to make a decision, she saw Hitsugaya jump out the window she had been staring at. He landed right in front of her and the expression on his face when he saw her was one of pure terror. Her heart broke to look at him like that, but she could explain everything to him on the way. They were in a hurry.

"Let's go taicho," she said urgently. "They're looking for you."

Hitsugaya seemed to be rooted to the spot, so Matsumoto opened a senkai gate herself, grabbed his arm, and pulled him through it.

"How…what…you…" Hitsugaya didn't seem to be able to string a sentence together, so Matsumoto did the talking.

"Before you panic," she said patiently, "your secret's still safe. I've known for years, I've covered for you more times than I can count, but no one else knows. That's not why I'm here." Matsumoto saw Hitsugaya visibly relax. She could tell that something was still disturbing him greatly, but now was not the time to ask about it. She explained the situation with Ukitake and Hitsugaya seemed to forget his troubles and switch into captain mode.

"Let's hurry," he said, increasing his speed. The two of them ran together out of the senkai gate, releasing their reiatsu from its hidden state as they reached Seireitei. Unohana was waiting for them when they entered 4th squad.

"Hitsugaya taicho," she said calmly. "Thank you for coming. He's in here." Hitsugaya nodded and followed Unohana into a room, where Ukitake was hooked up to a ventilator. His breathing was ragged and uneven and there was a blue tinge to his otherwise very pale skin.

"We're doing everything we can," Unohana explained, "but there's just too much damage to his lungs. The ventilator can help him breathe, but there isn't enough lung tissue left to absorb all the air. That's what we need you for."

"What do you need me to do?" Hitsugaya asked seriously.

"Breathe life back into his lungs," Unohana replied. "If you are truly the Heavenly Guardian, you can revive him. It won't heal him completely, nothing can get rid of that disease, but it will restore his health at least to the point it was at before." Hitsugaya nodded. With all the dignity he could muster, he leaned over Ukitake, removed the ventilator mask from his mouth, and performed CPR.

Ukitake opened his eyes and Hitsugaya pulled away from him just in time to avoid being hit with a face full of blood. Ukitake coughed and coughed until his lungs were dry, spraying blood everywhere, but Unohana didn't seem concerned. On the contrary, she was smiling. She approached Ukitake and listened carefully to his lungs through his heaving chest. She stood back and waited for the dry wheezing to slow.

"You're all right now, Ukitake taicho," she said pleasantly. "You've been saved by the Heavenly Guardian."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

_"Heavenly Guardian?!"_

_"It's just a rumor…"_

_"__**Heavenly Guardian**__?! Ha! I'll believe it when I see it!"_

_"I shouldn't have told you," Hitsugaya said with a scowl. Karin grinned._

_"Yes you should," she replied amused. "It's a great excuse to tease you!" Hitsugaya scoffed._

_"Aw, lighten up, Heavenly Guardian-san!" She burst out laughing. Hitsugaya was not amused._

**So they're not caught...yet. I bet that was a relief. But this chapter will prove to be very important to the rest of the story, so don't just write it off as my excuse to scare you in the last chapter.**


	6. Captain's Meeting

The hell butterfly flew into the room and perched on Matsumoto's finger.

"Captain's meeting," she announced, listening to its message. "Right now." She glanced towards the window sill where Hitsugaya had been sulking all day, wondering if he even heard her. She didn't know what was wrong, and even though Hitsugaya was now aware that she knew his secret, he had simply said that it something he had to deal with on his own and refused her offer of advice. She could tell, by the bags under his eyes, that he hadn't slept all night, and the only reason he was even in the office at all was sheer habit. He hadn't touched his overflowing stacks of paperwork, and Matsumoto, taking pity on him, had started on them of her own accord, wanting to do anything that might cheer him up. He had saved Ukitake's life! He was officially the Heavenly Guardian! He had every reason to be ecstatic! But all he could go was gaze longingly out the window, looking at something that wasn't there.

It took a moment, but Hitsugaya finally registered Matsumoto's words.

"I suppose I should go to that, shouldn't I?" he said in a defeated voice. Matsumoto nodded. Hitsugaya sighed deeply, then reluctantly extracted himself from the window sill.

"Taicho," Matsumoto said in concern, placing her hand on his shoulder as he walked past her. He shuttered briefly, but it wasn't from distaste. She wanted to hug him, but for once in her life, Matsumoto showed self restraint. She was afraid that if she hugged him right now, he would cry.

"Thank you Matsumoto," he whispered, practically inaudibly. He didn't even really make a sound, just moved his lips, but Matsumoto was so in tuned to him that she heard it anyway. She smiled encouragingly as he lifted his head high, plastered an emotionless mask onto his face, and left for his meeting.

ooooooooooooooooooo

_"What are captain's meetings like?" Karin asked. They were lying in her bed, cradled in each other's arms, basking in the calm breeze from the window that washed over them, cooling their sweaty bodies._

_"You ask the strangest questions sometimes," Hitsugaya replied, smiling gently. Karin grinned and kissed his neck._

_"Why do you want to know?" he continued. Karin shrugged._

_"Just curious. They're a part of your life." Hitsugaya sighed at looked up at the ceiling, stroking her hair absentmindedly._

_"Well, a bunch of old geezers stand around talking about things that usually don't really matter and it often ends in a suggestion to drink sake."_

_"Is that really all there is to being a taicho?" she teased. "I thought those meetings were important. Like, you discussed top secret information or something."_

_"Sometimes we do," Hitsugaya admitted. "But since the war, there hasn't been that much excitement in Soul Society, so the meetings have been more of an excuse to gossip than anything else. And there's much more to being a taicho than going to stupid meetings!" he said, remembering her jab at him. "It's hard work. I have a lot of responsibilities!" Karin chuckled. _

_"You still seem to find time to have a life though, don't you?" Hitsugaya squeezed her shoulders._

_"You could say that," he replied. She snuggled up close to him, nestling her head against his taut chest._

_"Your turn," she said sleepily._

_"For what?"_

_"To ask me a question." Hitsugaya thought for a moment._

_"How many fingers am I holding up?" he asked. Karin pushed him gently._

_"That's not what I meant!" she said in mock anger. "I meant something personal!" Hitsugaya smiled._

_"I knew that," he replied softly. "But I already know everything I need to know." He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer to him and shortly thereafter, drifted off to sleep._

Shaking his head, trying to clear his mind of that memory, Hitsugaya entered 1st squad for the meeting.

ooooooooooooooooooooo

"Now that everyone has assembled," Yamamoto soutaicho announced, "let's begin the meeting. Ukitake taicho, how is your health today?"

"I hardly think that's an order of business," Ukitake replied with a smile.

"On the contrary," Yamamoto continued, "it is our primary order of business. According to the report of 4th squad's Unohana taicho, Ukitake taicho was cured of a deadly attack last night using a technique that is only effective if employed by the Heavenly Guardian." Whispers broke out amongst the taichos who hadn't heard the news, but Yamamoto silenced them with a rap of his cane.

"Hitsugaya taicho," he said seriously.

"Hai," Hitsugaya replied.

"It has long been rumored that you were the reincarnation of the famed Heavenly Guardian due to your impressive abilities and achievements at such a young age, but last night's events proved this to be true. Let this be the official announcement."

"The discovery of a Heavenly Guardian is cause for a celebration, is it not?" Kyoraku announced, pulling a sake bottle out from inside his pink kimono. "In addition to Jyuushiro's recovery!"

"Shunsui," Ukitake said with an embarrassed laugh. "Not everything requires sake. Especially when we all know how much Hitsugaya taicho detests it." Kyoraku pouted.

"But how can we not drink with such a great excuse?!" he insisted.

"I think," Mayuri said sleazily, "that there is a more important matter to discuss than whether or not alcoholic beverages will be consumed." Kyoraku looked at him with mild interest.

"Oh," he drawled. "And what might that be?"

"Well," Mayuri said, "Recently, I've been scanning the souls that pass through the senkai gate, looking for one with properties that will be desirable in my research, and I happened to notice something rather unusual occur last night." Hitsugaya's heart skipped a beat.

"I was just wondering," Mayuri continued in his snake-like voice, "why Matsumoto fukutaicho thought it was necessary to travel to the living world and back when she was supposed to be fetching Hitsugaya taicho." Ok, forget skipping a beat. Hitsugaya's heart full out stopped.

"What exactly are you accusing my fukutaicho of?" Hitsugaya asked icily. Mayuri's lips curled into a sinister smile.

"Oh, so you're trying to push the blame onto her, now are you?" he asked with vindictive pleasure. Hitsugaya wanted to kill the man then and there. He was doing nothing of the sort.

"What are you implying, Kurotshuchi taicho," Hitsugaya spat with as much hatred at he could muster. Mayuri was completely un-intimidated by Hitsugaya's tone. In fact, he looked rather amused.

"Well," he said smugly, "Matsumoto fukutaicho was hiding her reiatsu. Clearly, she wanted to keep her movements a secret. But my control over kido is significantly better than hers, so I had no trouble detecting it. Unfortunately," he said with a frown, "Hitsugaya taicho's kido abilities are just a tad bit stronger than mine, so I cannot guarantee that he passed through the senkai gate as well. However, when Matsumoto fukutaicho returned, there were two hell butterflies rather than one, meaning she was returning with someone. I found this rather intriguing, so I traced Matsumoto fukutaicho's path while she was in the living world." Hitsugaya's heart seemed to have recovered full force. It was now pounding more furiously than it ever had before, including the first time he had seen Karin remove her shirt. He was certain everyone in the room could hear it.

"I find it rather interesting that Matsumoto fukutaicho took it upon herself to visit the home of Kurosaki Ichigo at a time when Ukitake taicho's life was at stake," Mayuri finished triumphantly. "Particularly, since Kurosaki Ichigo is in Tokyo at the present time." What, did this guy have it out for him or something? Hitsugaya didn't understand why Mayuri would go through so much effort just to get him into trouble. But he hadn't caught him. Yet.

"What is the meaning of this, Kuroshuchi taicho?" Yamamoto asked. "Are you accusing Matsumoto fukutaicho of illicit relations with the shinigami representative?"

"Quite the opposite," Mayuri replied, his eyes boring directly into Hitsugaya, who could feel beads of sweat trickling down the back of his neck. "I'm accusing Hitsugaya taicho of illicit relations with Kurosaki Karin."

Hitsugaya's heart couldn't take it anymore. Where it was beating like a hummingbird's a second earlier, now it appeared to have frozen over. All the blood drained out of his head and he fainted on the spot.

**Sorry, I know I did it to you again, but this time, it's real. And I know that Hitsugaya Toushiro is not really one to faint, but come on, wouldn't you? (And no, just for those of you who misread it, he is not dead).**


	7. You of all People Should Understand

**Sorry to leave you all in suspense, but this is a **_**really**_** long chapter to make up for it. I think it's the longest chapter I've ever written.  
**

"Yamamoto soutaicho!"

"There will be no discussion on this point."

"Genryuusai sensei!"

"Appealing to our more nostalgic days together will do nothing to change my mind, Ukitake taicho!" Yamamoto was back in his office, arguing with a rather desperate Ukitake.

"Genryuusai sensei," Ukitake pleaded, "Hitsugaya taicho is one of the most esteemed taichos in the Gotei 13! 10th squad is the best run, the most well organized, the most respected…"

"I am well aware of this!" Yamamoto shot back. "That does not change the fact that the evidence is overwhelming that Hitsugaya taicho has been having an illegal affair with a living woman! Soul Society cannot afford to be lax on this point!"

"Soul Society can't afford to lose the Heavenly Guardian either!" Ukitake retorted. "If you strip Hitsugaya taicho of his position…"

"The sentence should be death," Yamamoto reminded him. "I lightened it due to his new status as the Guardian." Ukitake waved that away.

"That's not the point," he argued. "The Gotei 13 is already three taichos short. If you remove another one…"

"And what good is a taicho who commits one of the most serious crimes a shinigami can commit? What kind of example does he set for his squad? For everyone?"

"But sentencing Kurosaki Karin to hell?" Ukitake continued. "What has she done?"

"She has aided and abetted the downfall of a taicho!" Yamamoto replied firmly. "If she is allowed to remain alive, she will forever be a distraction to Hitsugaya. And we will appear weak on our part for not carrying out our instated punishment." Ukitake sighed.

"I thought you of all people would understand their situation," Ukitake mumbled under his breath. Yamamoto turned red.

"You are forbidden to speak of that!" he screamed, slightly hysterical. "My judgment stands!"

"You may find that 10th squad isn't the only squad lacking a taicho if you carry out this sentence," Ukitake continued bravely. "You taught Shunsui and I to stand up for ourselves. To live by what we believe is just and right. We will not be able to serve as taichos under such a hypocritical soutaicho…"

"Get out!" Yamamoto shouted darkly. "Get out while you still have legs to leave on!" Ukitake shot Yamamoto one last warning look, then swept out of the room.

Yamamoto grabbed the side of his chair to steady himself. How dare he?! _How dare he_?! Ukitake and Kyouraku were both perfectly aware that they were never to mention that subject! It had occurred 700 years ago, back when he was still a young teacher at the Shinigami Academy. Why couldn't they just bury it in the past? He had certainly forgotten about her long ago! Hadn't he?

ooooooooooooooooooo

_"Sensei!" Ukitake called excitedly. "Genryuusai sensei!" Ukitake and Kyouraku ran up to Yamamoto, beaming like mad._

_"Ah, Jyuushiro, Shunsui," Yamamoto said, looking down at his bright eyed pupils. "I see you must have heard the good news. Yes, I'm going to take the two of you to the living world for a two month training mission. Come along." Ukitake and Kyouraki followed Yamamoto to the senkai gate, discussing their good fortune._

_"It's so rare that Academy students get to accompany a sensei on a hollow extermination mission," Ukitake said. "We're so lucky!"_

_"I don't care about killing hollow," Kyouraku replied. "I just wonder what the girls are like in the living world." Ukitake shook his head._

_"All you think about is women," he said amused. ""Besides, I thought you had a thing for Nanao."_

_"That first year?" Kyouraku said with a laugh. "Naw, she studies too much. She's way too serious for me." Ukitake smiled knowingly._

_"You're just bitter because she won't go on a date with you." Kyouraku pouted._

_"Aw, don't be like that, Jyuushiro," he pleaded._

_"I want to make something perfectly clear," Yamamoto said, breaking into their conversation. "Having a relationship with a living person is one of the most serious crimes a shinigami can commit. There is to be absolutely no contact with living souls while on this trip. Am I understood?"_

_"Hai," they replied in unison._

ooooooooooooooooooooo

_They came out in a quaint fishing village. The streets were lined with dilapidated huts and merchants from various larger towns bartering over the price of the day's catch. Dogs and cats ran wild in the streets, accompanied by children who weren't much cleaner than the animals. The air stank of fish, but it wasn't the fresh smell that wafts out of kitchens. It was a pungent, rotting smell that seemed to have seeped into everything: the houses, the ground, even the bones of the people, so that even if they moved away, the stench of rancid seafood would always follow them._

_"Pee-yew, this place reeks!" Kyouraku said, holding his nose. "This is worse than Rukongai! We really have to spend two months here?"_

_"Contrary to its appearance," Yamamoto replied, although he was turning slightly green, "this place has a relatively high spirit presence. Hollows concentrate at a high enough rate to keep us occupied. I promise." Kyouraku scoffed._

_They wandered through town, learning the layout of the area, while Kyouraku and Ukitake discussed how disconcerting it was to be invisible. They passed a group of women who were having a whispered discussion._

_"You know that Aya-chan, Ito-san's daughter?" an old woman with no teeth and a wart on her nose said eagerly. "They say she's been cursed." Excited whispers ran through the crowd. "Says she saw Fujika-san yesterday." Gasps._

_"But," countered another breathlessly, "Fujika-san died two weeks ago."_

_"Exactly," the woman said darkly, to more whispers. "And that's not all. She says she sees weird things. Like monsters."_

_"Let's go," Yamamoto prompted Ukitake, who had stopped to listen._

_"But sensei…" Ukitake started to protest, but was cut off as a girl turned the corner and crashed right into Yamamoto, dropping a basket of fish. The three men gasped. She was the most stunning girl they had ever seen. She was approximately seventeen, with a perfectly round face, skin as pale as moonlight, and onyx hair that shimmered like the waves on the water. Her tattered kimono did nothing to detract from her natural beauty._

_"Oh my goodness!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry!"_

_"It's alright," Yamamoto said with a gentle smile. "Here, let me help you with that." He knelt over to pick up a fish, but its slimy skin caused it to jump right out of his hands._

_"Finicky little devils aren't they?" he said. The girl giggled._

_"Are you merchants?" she asked kindly. "I haven't seen you around here before."_

_"Ano, sensei," Ukitake said, poking him in the back. "I thought we weren't supposed to talk to…"_

_"Aya-chan!" the toothless woman said in surprise. Aya looked up to see the gossiping women all staring at her with concern._

_"Yes, obaasan?" she replied sweetly._

_"Aya-chan, who are you talking to?" It was then that Yamamoto realized his mistake. But it was too late to correct it._

_"These new merchants," she replied innocently, waving a hand at the three shinigami._

_"Shoot," Yamamoto mumbled as the women looked at each other with worry._

_"Who?" the old woman prompted gently, looking at Aya as if hoping she was about to tell the punch line of a joke._

_"Don't be silly, obaasan!" Aya said with a laugh. "They're right…" but they were no longer right there. Finally taking Ukitake's hint, the three had shunpoed away._

ooooooooooooooooooooo

_"I thought that was illegal!" Ukitake reprimanded._

_"Yay! Sensei has finally taken an interest in women!" Kyouraku cried, dancing around excitedly. Yamamoto frowned._

_"I was caught off guard in town," he defended himself. "It won't happen again…"_

_"Ano," said a timid voice behind him, and Yamamoto turned his head so quickly he almost got whiplash._

_"What was that about not happening again?" Kyouraku whispered to Ukitake, who snickered._

_"You're…not normal are you?" she asked. It seemed to be taking all her effort to approach them. "No one else in town could see you. I…I can see strange things. Things other people can't see. Ghosts and monsters. But…you don't seem to be either of those things." Yamamoto seemed to be torn over what to do. He knew he should have nothing to do with this living girl, but his heart was pounding harder than it ever had before, and Kyouraku's encouragement was doing nothing to help him._

_"You're right," he agreed, caving to his emotions for once. "We're not."_

oooooooooooooooooooo

_"Gen-san, Ukitake-san, Kyouraku-san!" Aya called cheerily, running up to their camp site, a basket dangling from her arm. "I brought you some food."_

_"Thank you, Aya-san," Ukitake said gratefully._

_"Ah, Aya-chan, you're a lifesaver!" Kyouraku said, licking his lips hungrily as she unpacked smoked fish and rice cakes._

_"You know, you don't have to do this Aya," Yamamoto said compassionately. "Your family doesn't have much money. We can fend for ourselves."_

_"Don't say that sensei!" Kyouraku responded through a mouthful of fish. "I don't know the first thing about fishing!" Yamamoto scowled and Aya blushed._

_"It's alright," she replied modestly. "Besides I'm…not living at home anymore, and I have more than enough food for one person so…"_

_"Wait!" Yamamoto interrupted. "Why aren't you living at home?" Aya looked down at her feet, twisting her hands nervously._

_"They think I'm a witch," she mumbled. Yamamoto's face darkened with fury._

_"Sensei," Ukitake said in a desperate attempt to prevent the volcano from erupting._

_"It's alright though," Aya said defensively. "I don't mind really…"_

_"It is not alright!" Yamamoto spat, causing Aya to jump. "They can't just cast you aside like that!"_

_"Really, it's alright," Aya replied. "As long as…" She blushed furiously and dropped her head again, avoiding Yamamoto's gaze. "As long as I have you Gen-san, I'll be alright." Yamamoto stood there for a moment, then hugged her, rubbing her back gently to comfort her as silent tears fell from her eyes._

_Ukitake grabbed Kyouraku's arm and started to drag him away._

_"But," Kyouraku protested, "I'm eating!"_

_"The food will be there later!" Ukitake said impatiently. "Let's leave sensei alone right now." Kyouraku looked back at the couple, who were oblivious to them, lost as they were in each other's embrace, and left with Ukitake._

oooooooooooooooooooo

_Yamamoto and Aya sat on a rock, gazing out over the ocean and staring at the diamond stars twinkling in the heavens._

_"You're leaving tomorrow, aren't you?" she asked sadly. Yamamoto didn't reply. She already knew the answer._

_"But you'll come back, won't you?" she asked hopefully. Again, no answer. She knew that too._

_"But what am I supposed to do?!" she yelped, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "I'm a pariah now, an outcast. I'm never going to get married. You're the only person who's acknowledged me, who doesn't think I'm cursed, or crazy, or a witch. What am I going to do once you're gone?" Her tears were flowing freely now, and Yamamoto lifted a hand to wipe them away. That only made her cry harder, and she collapsed into his shoulder, sobbing her heart out. He wrapped a protective arm around her, aching inside at the thought of her pain. Maybe, just maybe, he could bend the rules._

_"Alright," he said, and her eyes when she looked at him were sparkling more brightly than the stars. "I'll come back."_

oooooooooooooooooooo

_"Aya!" Yamamoto called, coming into the small cottage, secluded in woods, where "the witch," had lived alone for the past forty years. No one came to visit her. It was said that hulled herself up in the woods to train monsters and commune with ghosts. And while Aya wasn't particularly appreciative of the rumors, she did nothing to refute them. It gave them the privacy they so desperately needed._

_"Gen-san!" Aya cried joyfully, embracing her husband._

_"Aya, I've got news," he told her._

_"Is it good news, or bad news?" she teased._

_"Both," he replied. "I've been made a taicho." Aya gaped at him. She knew how much that honor meant to him. But she also knew that it meant changes in their very unusual life._

_"It's going to be harder for you to get away, isn't it," she said sadly. Yamamoto sighed, then cupped her face in his hands._

_"Yes," he said truthfully. "But it doesn't matter. It's worked so far and will continue to work. I love you. I'll do anything I can to be with you." Aya smiled softly, then leaned against him, basking in his warmth._

_"I know you will," she said fondly._

ooooooooooooooooooooooo

He sighed. The truth was, Yamamoto had been acutely aware of the fact that Hitsugaya was having a relationship with a living woman. Why else was he aging so quickly?

Many wondered why Yamamoto looked so old, but luckily, few had thought to ask. He was 1,000 years old, why shouldn't he be old? But that wasn't the reason.

The soul particles that make up soul society slow down the aging of the residents to almost standstill. The only time they age at the pace of living souls is when they leave Soul Society and enter the living world. Most shinigami spend so little time there, that their age is practically held constant. But for people like Yamamoto or Hitsugaya, who spent nearly half their time in the living world, their aging process would be sped up markedly. Very few people knew this unusual secret of aging. They attributed Hitsugaya's current growth spurt to his rigorous training. But Yamamoto, who had had a very similar experience, understood exactly what was occurring.

Yamamoto had wanted to protect Hitsugaya and his lover, having sympathized with their plight. So he hadn't mentioned their relationship to anyone, even though it was obvious to him. But now that their secret was out, he had no choice. He had to execute the sentence. But Ukitake's threat was not unfounded. Yamamoto knew he couldn't lose two more taichos, but more than that, he did not want his secret spilled throughout Seireitei.

His grip on his cane tightened. The one skeleton in his closet must remain hidden at all costs. If anyone found out…Yamamoto did not want to think of the consequences.

"Very well," he said with a sigh. "I will not strip Hitsugaya taicho of his position. But the punishment for the Kurosaki girl still stands. I cannot have her running around free."

**Some Yamamoto back story. So maybe he isn't the devil everyone thinks he is (but then again, maybe he is. I'm not a particularly big fan of his. Besides, he still wants to kill Karin.)**


	8. Back to the Beginning

**So I finally finished "A Midsummer's Nightmare" (two chapters in a day, I was in a writing mood today) so now all my energy will be focused on this story (when I'm not studying, which is what I really should be doing right now...) This story gets really exciting from here on out (if it hasn't been already).**

It was raining. Karin liked it. The gloomy storm clouds and torrential downpour matched her mood perfectly. She had ditched school, saying that she didn't feel well. Her father had always been relatively lax about school, so he hadn't minded. He certainly raised an eyebrow when she said she was going for a walk in the storm, but he knew better than to stop her. His two black eyes probably also helped to keep him quiet.

Karin found her feet treading the familiar path to the railing subconsciously. When she realized where she was going, she smiled weakly, feeling like a puppy who sits at the door waiting for his owner to come home, or a nostalgic child who clings desperately to a security blanket. She hadn't come to this place in a long time. In fact, their reunion after the war was the last time she could remember sitting here. But for some reason, here at the end, she found herself thinking of the beginning.

_"Toushiro!" Karin called, running up the hill to join her friend. He didn't look up from his phone, but she hadn't expected him to._

_"I thought I told you not to bother me," he said coldly, typing away. Karin grinned, then sat down on the rail beside him._

_"Then why do you still come somewhere where you know I can find you?" she asked pointedly. Hitsugaya didn't reply. He didn't even pause in his relentless typing._

_"Neh," Karin nagged, "what do you write on that phone anyway?" Hitsugaya took a moment before replying._

_"Reports," he said casually._

_"On?" Karin prompted. Hitsugaya sighed._

_"Why do you care?" Karin shrugged._

_"Why shouldn't I?" she asked playfully. "Or are they about top secret shinigami stuff?"_

_"You could say that," Hitsugaya replied nonchalantly, his mouth twitching slightly. Karin gasped._

_"You did it!" she exclaimed, and Hitsugaya looked at her for the first time; out of the corner of his eye of course._

_"Did what?"_

_"You smiled!" she said brightly. Hitsugaya slammed his phone shut._

_"I did no such thing!" he retorted angrily, turning to face her. Karin chuckled._

_"You're right, you didn't." Hitsugaya glared at her for a moment, then sat back in a huff._

_"What are you getting at Kurosaki?" he asked annoyed._

_"Well, really I just wanted to get you to close your phone and look at me," she replied. "And you did!" Hitsugaya fixed her with a patented icy stare, but it had no effect whatsoever._

_"Why do you like to bother me?" he asked. Karin grinned._

_"If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you!" she said mischievously. Hitsugaya scoffed._

_"Oh come on Toushiro, you know you like it when I'm around!" she teased. She stared at him and watched in utter amazement as he smiled. It was awkward and crooked, like he was out of practice, and it disappeared almost as quickly as it had come, but it had been there. A genuine smile from the man who doesn't know how to express happiness. Karin grinned to herself._

_"What are you so happy about?" Hitsugaya asked._

_"Nothing," she replied airily, deciding that he didn't deserve to be teased at that particular moment._

That was the day that Karin realized that she had fallen in love with him. It was strange, how something as simple as a fleeting smile had clued her into something so important. But that was just how they were.

Normally, memories of that moment brought an uncontrollable grin to her face, but today, it just brought pain. Karin was grateful for the rain. The deluge of water pouring from the sky masked her tears, and she could blame her puffy eyes and red nose on the cold. Leaning back against the rail, Karin basked in the downpour, willing the storm to wash away some of the ache in her heart.

"Karin!" someone called, and Karin was ripped out of her revere and back to reality.

"Toushiro?" she whispered almost hopefully. But it wasn't him.

"Karin!" Ichigo panted, running up the hill. "There you are! I've been looking all over town for you!"

"Ichi-nii!" Karin said in surprise, not sure if she was glad or depressed that it wasn't Hitsugaya after all. "When did you get back from Tokyo?"

"Just now," he replied, holding out his umbrella to cover her. "Yuzu asked me to come find you. She's worried about you, going out all alone in the rain. Why the heck are you out here anyway?" Karin just shrugged.

"I felt like it," she said noncommittally.

"Whatever," he said. "Let's get home."

They had only taken a few steps however, when six ninjas appeared out of nowhere, surrounding them. Karin gasped in shock, but Ichigo recognized who they were.

"You're from Soul Society's Military Police Force!" Ichigo said in surprise. Karin's hand flew to her mouth, and for the first time in a long time, she felt afraid.

The ninjas kneeled to Ichigo.

"We're very sorry, shinigami representative-san," the leader said seriously. "But we have orders to put your sister, Kurosaki Karin, under arrest."

"What?!" Ichigo cried, grabbing Karin's arm and pulling her close to him, ready to protect her with his life. "On what charges?"

"For seducing, and having an illegal relationship with, a taicho of the Gotei 13," the leader replied. Ichigo's face contorted in rage.

"My sister did nothing of the sort!" he barked. "Right Karin?" He glared at her, but Karin had lost all control over her emotions at this point. She had almost been expecting this to happen, but it didn't make it any easier now that they had actually come for her. Ichigo took one glace at the look on her face, and knew that the ninjas were telling the truth.

"Soul Society has no jurisdiction over the living world!" Ichigo spat, more confidently then felt. "They have no right to…"

"On the contrary," the leader corrected him. "Soul Society has the right to levy punishment against any individual who breaks our laws, living or no."

"But…" Ichigo tried to protest again, but the leader had already given the signal. They descended on Ichigo and Karin. Ichigo tried to fight back, but they were ninjas trained in the arts of hand to hand combat and he didn't have time to become a shinigami and use his sword. He landed several punches in midair, but the ninjas had already bound Karin with kido and were dragging her off.

"Wait! Karin!" Ichigo cried desperately, but before he could do anything else, they were gone. The ninjas were too quick.

"Damn it!" Ichigo cursed, then turned and ran towards the one man he knew could help him.

oooooooooooooooooo

"Urahara-san!" Ichigo screamed, barreling through the door (literally, through) to the Urahara Shop.

"Ahhh, Kurosaki-kun," Urahara sighed, staring at the Ichigo shaped hole in his front door. "Now I have to fix that…"

"Karin's been arrested by Soul Society!" Ichigo said frantically, grabbing Urahara's collar.

"By Karin, you mean…?"

"My sister!" Ichigo explained. "Please, you're the only one who can help me! I've got to get there NOW!" Urahara looked calmly down at Ichigo and shifted his hat.

"And just what would Soul Society want with your sister?" he asked, a note of amusement in his voice. Ichigo looked ready to explode.

"Something about seducing a taicho or some crap like that, I don't know!" Urahara finally became serious.

"She was having a relationship with a taicho?" he asked thoughtfully.

"What does it matter?" Ichigo insisted. "The important part is, I have to rescue her. Now!" Urahara shook his head.

"I'm sorry Kurosaki," he apologized. "But I can't let you go this time."

"WHAT?!" Ichigo bellowed, his grip tightening on Urahara's collar. "You were all set to help me when it was Rukia, but now that _my sister_ needs me, you're not willing to…"

"Who said I wasn't willing to help?" Urahara asked, and Ichigo's hold on his collar slackened in surprise. "I just said I couldn't send you."

"Why?" he growled. Urahara looked at him knowingly.

"Because you are not the best person to save her at the moment." Ichigo was utterly confused, but Urahara refused to elaborate and told him to leave before he created another hole in the wall, against his will this time.

**We're back to cliffhangers. I don't think this will be the last one either (sorry, you can hate me if you want, but they're just **_**so much fun**_** to write, even if they're awful to read). (Lots of parentheses today).**


	9. If I'm in Danger, You'll Protect Me

**Thanks to lazy.flower for pointing out the inconsistency in this chapter. I fixed it.**

_The cry of a hollow ripped though the air._

"_They're here again," Karin said darkly, then jumped out of the way as the hollow crashed onto the soccer field where she and Hitsugaya were playing, spraying dirt everywhere._

"_Karin, run!" Hitsugaya shouted._

"_What?!" she asked confused. "Why? Just kill it and get it over with!"_

"_I can't kill it!" Hitsugaya replied, panicking ever so slightly as the hollow sought out Karin's elevated reiatsu. "Soul Society keeps a record of who kills every hollow. They'd know I was here." Karin rolled her eyes._

"_You and this hiding thing," she teased. "Well, I guess I'll have to protect you this time." Hitsugaya stared at her._

"_Karin no! You could get hurt…" But she was already racing towards the hollow, soccer ball tucked under her arm._

"_Oi, you there!" she yelled, and the hollow turned stupidly to face her. "Yeah, that's right! Come here you big dumb brute! Eat ball!" She wound up and kicked the soccer ball as hard as she could. It hit the hollow square in the face, and he screamed painfully as he disintegrated._

_Karin smirked, then came up to Hitsugaya, who was looking at her with awe._

"_What?" she asked impatiently. "You didn't think I could do it?" Hitsugaya smirked._

"_I guess I shouldn't have doubted you."_

"_You're damn right you shouldn't have!" Karin retorted. "If you're in danger, I'll protect you. If I'm in danger, you'll protect me. That's how this works isn't it?"_

"_Yeah," he agreed. "I guess it is. Come on, let's get out of here before your brother shows up."_

Hitsugaya opened his eyes and was unsurprised to find himself in a jail cell. He stared at the ceiling, recalling the dream he had just had.

"_If you're in danger, I'll protect you. If I'm in danger, you'll protect me. That's how this works isn't it?"_

"Are you awake taicho?" asked a worried voice. Hitsugaya sat up and saw Matsumoto sitting just beyond the bars. She didn't ask if he was alright. That was a stupid question. Hitsugaya sighed deeply.

"What's going to happen to Karin?" he asked. He didn't really care what they did to him at this point. He was much more worried about her. Matsumoto shifted uncomfortably.

"They…They've condemned her to hell…"

"WHAT!?" Hitsugaya cried causing dust to fall from the ceiling. He punched the wall in anger, chipping the brick. Matsumoto bit her lip.

"Damn it, _damn it_!" Hitsugaya said painfully, leaning his head against the wall, pounding on it pathetically as his tears started to fall. "Karin…" Hitsugaya's world had just crumbled like the brick lining the cell. _Anything_ would be better than this. Even death. Death was quick and painless. But hell…she would suffer for all eternity. He slid down onto the floor and curled up into a ball, sobbing helplessly. And Matsumoto, on the other side of the bars, was at a total loss on how to comfort him.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Karin sat in a jail cell in 1st squad with her hands tied behind her back. They had done that after she had thrown her rice bowl at the guard. She was hoarse from screaming so much. But even as she fought, she knew it was futile. There was no trial. There never was in Soul Society. Just a judgment from Central Room 46 and Yamamoto soutaicho. And she wasn't even allowed to see Hitsugaya.

She heard whispers just beyond her cell and suddenly, a strawberry blond woman appeared.

"Rangiku-san!" Karin said hopefully, thankful that she could at least see a familiar face before she died. Or rather, disappeared into the pit of hell. Matsumoto smiled weakly.

"Karin! Look at you!" she said with a happiness that didn't match her eyes. "You're all grown up! The last time I saw you, you were still a child." Karin attempted a weak smile.

"How did you get in here?" she asked. "I thought I wasn't allowed visitors. Especially you."

"The guard owes me a favor," she explained. "I helped him get a date with my sister years ago."

"You have a sister?" Karin asked. Hitsugaya had never mentioned that.

"Had," Matsumoto corrected her. "She disappeared almost thirty years ago and I haven't seen her since."

"I'm sorry," Karin said truthfully. Matsumoto shrugged.

"It happens when you're a shinigami," she replied. Karin nodded her understanding and didn't press the issue.

"But still, won't you get into trouble for coming to see me?" Karin asked.

"Nothing I can't handle."

"Not like getting sentenced to hell?" Karin asked bitterly.

"Don't say that!" Matsumoto replied anxiously, and Karin smiled bravely. They stood in silence for a moment.

"How is he?" Karin asked despondently, and they both knew immediately to whom she was referring.

"He's…" Matsumoto began, trying desperately not to cry. She looked at Karin and knew that she wanted the truth. Nothing sugarcoated would make her feel any better.

"He's awful," she finally replied. "He feels terrible about what's going to happen to you. He's staying a taicho, there's no direct punishment to him, but I know he would rather get thrown into hell than live with the knowledge that you're going to." Karin lowered her eyes. She knew that was going to be her answer, but hearing it didn't make it hurt less.

She remembered her dream. Her dream of getting frozen over in the middle of hell. She wanted Hitsugaya to know that, by killing her with his own hands, he was making the right choice. And this would be her last chance to do so.

"Tell him," she croaked, then cleared her throat and tried again. "Tell him I love him. And that I'm sorry. And that, whatever decision he makes regarding my dream, he's doing the right thing." Matsumoto didn't fully understand the message, but then, she didn't feel she was supposed to.

"I'll do that," she promised.

ooooooooooooooooooo

Keys turned in the lock and Hitsugaya sat bolt upright. Yamamoto entered the cell.

"What do you want?" Hitsugaya asked scathingly, knowing how rude he was being and for once, not caring in the slightest.

"You are being released so that you may attend the execution of the sentence against Kurosaki Karin," Yamamoto stated, ignoring Hitsugaya's breech of etiquette.

"Why?" Hitsugaya sneered. "Why on earth would I want to attend that?"

"Think of it as an exchange," Yamamoto replied. "I am allowing you to remain a taicho. In return, you will watch the punishment."

"I would rather be stripped of my rank," Hitsugaya spat.

"Hitsugaya taicho!" Yamamoto barked. "This is not an offer. This is an order! You _will_ get yourself to the execution grounds and you _will_ attend the sentencing _as is your duty_ as a taicho of the Gotei 13!" Hitsugaya didn't know if it was possible to hate someone as much as he hated Yamamoto at that moment. Oh no wait, he _probably_ hated Mayuri more, but Yamamoto was coming in at a very close second.

"You are not to speak to her," Yamamoto continued. "You are not to signal her or contact her in any way. You are not to disrupt the execution. If you interfere in the slightest…"

"I know, I know," Hitsugaya scoffed. He stormed past Yamamoto, wanting to get away from the man as fast as he could and wondering how on earth he was going to sit silently and watch Karin be cast into hell.

ooooooooooooooooooo

It seemed like all of Seireitei had shown up to watch. Hitsugaya wished he could curse each and every one of them. What did they care? What did they think they were going to see?

"Yamamoto soutaicho ordered that all shinigami who were available had to attend," Matsumoto whispered to him. "To learn how severe the punishment for this crime is." He growled.

"Then why aren't I up there with her?" he replied dangerously. Matsumoto gave him a pitying look. Had they been alone, she would have squeezed his shoulder in comfort, but in a setting such as this, she knew it was out of place.

Four masked men dressed in all white appeared and Hitsugaya held his breath. Karin was in the middle of them, he knew she was, and for the first time in his life, he was not happy to see her. He tried desperately to peak through the broad shouldered guards around her, wanting to catch one last glimpse, but all he could see were ropes.

"I hear she put up quite the fight when they came to get her," a shinigami whispered behind him. "Said she put one guard out of commission and broke another's arm before they could finally restrain her." Hitsugaya whipped around and shot the shinigami the deadliest stare he could muster. The boy literally seemed to shrink in size. Hitsugaya turned back around, feeling slightly proud of Karin. Even in her last moments, she still put up a fight.

"That's my girl!" he thought to himself.

The guards in white stopped walking and two more shinigami came forward and performed the ceremony to call up the hell gates. There were whispers among the crowd as the skeleton guarded doors rose eerily from the ground, creaking and grinding as they came to a halt. Hitsugaya clenched his fists as the doors slowly slid open, revealing the swirling hellfire, and Karin's future home. He bit his tongue to keep from crying out.

Yamamoto began some speech about Karin's punishment and how it should serve as a lesson for everyone, but Hitsugaya wasn't listening. He was fighting an intense internal battle.

"What am I doing?!" he shouted at himself. "Karin's about to get pushed into hell and I'm just standing here, following orders like a good boy! I've defied Soul Society's laws for the past six years and this is my resolve? To watch the woman I love get thrown into a torture chamber to rot and suffer for the rest of eternity?!"

"_If you're in danger, I'll protect you. If I'm in danger, you'll protect me. That's how this works isn't it?"_

"That's right," Hitsugaya reminded himself. "Karin broke up with me to protect me. To try to prevent this from happening. Now it's my chance to return the favor." As the guard pushed Karin through the gates, Hitsugaya drew his sword.

**Wow, probably my worst cliffhanger yet. Sorry people!**


	10. The Truth

As the guard pushed Karin through the gates, Hitsugaya drew his sword.

"Taicho!" Matsumoto said warningly, but her cry wasn't what caused Hitsugaya to cease his advance.

"Stop!" shouted a voice, and everyone turned. "That's my daughter you've got!

"Kurosaki taicho!" Yamamoto gasped. "That's your daughter?! Yours and Masaki fukutaicho's?

"Yes, of course, who else?" Isshin said impatiently. "Don't tell me none of you made the connection? Now get Karin _out_ of there!"

"But," Yamamoto said waving his arm at the gate. "As you can see, she has already gone through. And there is no way to retrieve someone from hell without entering yourself…"

"Sit upon the heavens, Hyourinmaru!" Hitsugaya cried. The decision had been easy. The zanpakto was already in his hand. He didn't stop to think about the damage it would cause him. He didn't stop to process what exactly Isshin had just said. All that mattered was that Karin was suffering, and that Yamamoto had practically given him permission to save her.

A collective gasp ran through the crowd at Hitsugaya's release.

"Hitsugaya taicho, what is the meaning of this…?" Yamamoto began, but Hitsugaya didn't aim the dragon at Yamamoto, or the guards, or even Mayuri. He sent it directly through the closing hell gates, ignoring the searing pain he felt as his zanpakto hit the flames, searching desperately for Karin's reiatsu.

He found her easily. She was in pain so her reiatsu was magnified in a subconscious attempt to protect her. Hitsugaya knew he had no time to waste. Karin was in agony, and Hyourinmaru was melting.

As gently as he could, he coated her in ice. He had never used his zanpakto this way before, but even in his frantic state, he had total control. Instead of smothering her like he did his opponents, Hitsugaya used the ice as a protective shield, placing a cocoon around her body, blocking the flames. Before his ice dragon disappeared entirely, Hitsugaya gave his sword a sharp tug and it flew out of the gates a second before they sealed shut.

The ice containing Karin soared through the air and landed at Hitsugaya's feet, shattering into a thousand pieces as it hit the ground. Karin was quite a sight. Her body was covered in burns that were slowly developing frostbite. But she was alive.

"Karin," Hitsugaya said emotionally, tears forming in his eyes as he gazed at her. Oblivious to his scalded hand, he dropped his charred zanpakto and kneeled down beside her. He didn't want to touch her, for fear of causing her raw wounds even more pain, but he still wanted to be as close to her as possible.

"Tou…shiro…" she stuttered before blacking out.

ooooooooooooooooooo

_"It's this way, Matsumoto-san!" the eager young shinigami said breathlessly. It was still his first week in the squad and he was desperate to impress his superiors. She laughed gently._

_"I know where the office is, I've been a 5__th__ seat long enough, even though it was for 1__st__ squad." Her guide flushed purple._

_"Begging your pardon, I'm very sorry…" She laughed again, a joyful, musical laugh._

_"It's quite alright," she said with a smile. "What's your name?"_

_"Kira," he replied, thrilled that she wasn't angry with him. "Kira Izuru." She smiled, and her smile was as warm as sunshine._

_"Well, it's very nice to meet you Kira!" she said brightly. "I hope I'll like it here in 3__rd__ squad."_

_"I'm sure you will!" Kira replied, his face lighting up. "I don't know much about our new taicho, but I hear he's very strong. 12__th__ squad wasn't happy to see him go."_

_"Yes," she said with a sigh. "Kurotshuchi taicho's on the warpath about it. They say it is not safe to be anywhere near 12__th__ squad at the moment." They had reached the office. Kira kneeled._

_"This is 3__rd__ squad's Kira Izuru," he announced. "I…"_

_"I don't like formalities like that," said a voice from inside. "If you want me, just come in." Kira blushed with embarrassment._

_"Hai!" he replied, and slid the door open._

_"Kurosaki Isshin taicho," Kira said humbly, "please meet your new fukutaicho, Matsumoto Masaki." Isshin turned around. His new captain's haori swished satisfactorily. It was so dramatic that it was clear he had done it on purpose, for emphasis. He had a cigarette dangling lazily from his hand._

_"Ah Masaki-chan!" he said cheerily, coming over to her. "I've heard a lot about your skills from Yamamoto soutaicho, but he never mentioned your beauty." Masaki looked at him with a mixture of amusement and malevolence._

_"Taicho," she said slyly. "You look very cool holding that cigarette." Isshin puffed up with pride. Masaki then proceeded to grab it and squash it under her foot._

_"And I hate cigarettes, so can you please not smoke in the office?" She flashed him a smile that told him immediately who was in control in the relationship. Isshin scratched his head awkwardly._

_"Aw, and here I thought I would have subordinates who would finally listen to me?" he pouted. "Guess that's just my luck." Masaki smiled._

oooooooooooooooooooo

_"Nee-san, can I talk to you?" Masaki asked gently, coming into the 10__th__ squad office._

_"Of course Masaki!" Matsumoto said brightly, jumping off the couch. "See you later taicho!" Hitsugaya casually waved them away. Matsumoto was hopeless when her sister came to visit. The two women left the office and went to Matsumoto's room, where they curled up on her futon, comparing their toenail polish._

_"So Masaki," Matsumoto prompted. "Didn't you want to talk to me about something? I'm sure it wasn't about whether you should wear apple red or sakura pink polish?" Masaki giggled. She scrunched her toes thoughtfully._

_"Nee-san," she began. "Do you think it's wrong to love your taicho?" Matsumoto stared at her sister for a second, then burst out laughing._

_"It's not funny!" Masaki insisted angrily._

_"Yes it is!" Matsumoto chided. "Kurosaki taicho's been absolutely smitten with you since your first day on the job, and now, after all your protests and denials, you've finally fallen for him. What about that isn't funny?" Masaki blushed._

_"I guess you're right," she said with a smile._

_"Of course I'm right!" Matsumoto insisted. "Now, when are you going to have the wedding?"_

_"Nee-san!" Masaki exclaimed embarrassed, and Matsumoto hollered with laughter._

oooooooooooooooooooo

_"Unacceptable!"_

_"Mayuri-sama…"_

_"I absolutely forbid it!" Mayuri had just received an invitation to the wedding of Kurosaki Isshin and Matsumoto Masaki. He had burned it immediately, but the fact remained that the couple was still going to be wed._

_"Is there a reason Kurosaki taicho and Matsumoto fukutaicho should not be married?" Nemu asked, seemingly uninterested. Mayuri glared daggers at her, then swiped his arm across her face sending her barreling into the wall._

_"Yes you foolish piece of trash!" he screeched. "It's the same reason I did not want to let Isshin out of my sight in the first place! He was a precious experiment! If my tests were successful, he is capable of reproducing! And if he gets married, he will do so! My data will be spread around Soul Society! I cannot let this happen."_

_"But, Mayuri-sama," Nemu asked, applying pressure to her head wound. "How will you stop them?" Mayuri smiled a terrible, evil smile._

_"Leave that to me."_

oooooooooooooooooooo

_Nemu snuck silently into the 3__rd__ squad office. She had waited patiently all day, but Isshin and Masaki had finally left for a moment. She knew she only had a few precious minutes, but they were enough._

_Coming over to the desk, she spotted two tea cups that thankfully, still had some tea left in them. Removing a bottle from her pocket, she sprinkled several drops of a clear liquid into each cup and stealthily left the office._

_Several minutes later, Isshin and Masaki returned, laughing about something._

_"They never learn do they?" Isshin said, shaking his head in amusement. "I don't mind fighting in the hallways, but if they're going to destroy a wall, they can at least have the decency to get it fixed." Masaki giggled. Picking up her tea cup, she finished it in one sip, then handed Isshin his._

_"Here, finish this so I can make more," she demanded. "It's easier to make two cups at once."_

_"Always the resourceful one," Isshin said playfully. Masaki tried not to grin, and failed in the attempt. Isshin downed his tea, then handed Masaki his cup._

_"Put some sugar in it this time," he suggested. "This one was a little bitter. Maybe the leaves are getting old."_

oooooooooooooooooo

_That night, both Isshin and Masaki awoke to searing pain. It spread through every inch of their body, starting at their heads and passing down their torsos, across their arms, through their legs, and right out their toes. And then it was gone as quickly as it had come._

_The next morning, they both awoke to find that they didn't have a single shred of reiatsu._

_"What the hell happened?!" Isshin cursed. Masaki could only cry. They couldn't remain in their positions like this, they couldn't even be shinigami, but neither of them had any desire to return to Rukongai._

_"Isshin," Masaki said desperately. "What are we going to do?" Isshin thought for a moment._

_"Let's go to the living world. I have an old friend there, a former taicho named Urahara Kisuke. He'll help us. It'll have to be a secret though, we're not supposed to live there. But we can get married in the living world and lead a semi-normal life. If we stay here, there's nothing for us but Rukongai." Masaki looked down at her hands._

_"Alright," she agreed._

ooooooooooooooooooo

_"Are you satisfied, Mayuri-sama?" Nemu asked. "Kurosaki taicho has left Soul Society, along with Matsumoto fukutaicho. No one knows where they went." Mayuri scoffed._

_"I still don't like the thought of his children running around free," he growled. "If I find them, I will do everything in my power to bring about their demise."_

**Another back story. I hope it wasn't too much, but I kind of like the way all the characters tie together. I hope this explains a lot of things that may have been left hanging in the story. (And no, not the end, so don't even ask me. Why would I end it here?)**


	11. Family

"So Ichigo is my _nephew_?!" Matsumoto said in surprise. "And Karin too?"

"That's right!" Isshin said proudly. "Though how no one made the connection is beyond me. Did you all think that shinigami representatives with taicho level reiatsu just appeared out of thin air?"

"How were we supposed to know that you could have children!?" Matsumoto defended. "No one else in Soul Society can! Kurosaki isn't that uncommon a name, it was totally natural that no one noticed. Besides, you did a very decent job of hiding all traces of yourself. We were even in your home! Taicho especially, and he never felt a single shred of your reiatsu!"

"I'm just that good!" Isshin said proudly. Matsumoto shook her head in amusement.

"I'm sorry about Masaki," he said seriously. Matsumoto sighed.

"Don't be," she replied. "It's not your fault you had to leave. And I thought you guys died on a mission or something, so the fact that she lived for a while longer and had children makes me feel a lot better." Isshin beamed at her.

"Neh taicho!" Matsumoto called. "If you and Karin get married, we'll be related! Isn't that exciting?!" She looked over at Hitsugaya who was seemingly unaware of the conversation going on next to him. He was more tense than Matsumoto had ever seen him. His fists were clenched so tightly, he was beginning to draw blood. Well, one fist. The other was completely coated in bandages, having been scalded by the heat that had passed through his sword. The burnt out husk that was once Hyourinmaru sat at his side, the fires of hell having done more damage to the ice-based zanpakto than it would have to any other variety.

Matsumoto sat down beside him and grabbed his hand, forcing it open.

"Mutilating yourself won't make Karin heal any faster," she teased. Hitsugaya gave her a death glare, but she was immune to them.

"I don't know what you're so nervous about," she continued lightly. "Karin's a fully fledged soul now, both her parents were shinigami. There's technically nothing illegal about your relationship anymore, even Yamamoto soutaicho admitted that. Unohana taicho's doing the best she can, Karin's wounds will heal with time. And so will Hyourinmaru's. He's strong, he won't be taken out by something like this. So please, just try to relax a bit." Hitsugaya could hear the pleading in her voice and sighed deeply. He knew Matsumoto was right, but he also knew that he wouldn't be able to calm down until Karin had woken up from her coma.

A door in front of them opened and Hitsugaya immediately sprung from his seat, anxiety reaching the breaking point. Unohana looked at him and smiled.

"I've done what I can for now," she said gently. "I've never treated hellfire burns before. They'll take longer to heal than normal burns, but she'll be fine with time. She's still asleep, and she will be for a while, but her life is not in danger. Her wounds will need to be treated twice a day, so I'm afraid I can't let her go home yet, even with you Kurosaki taicho," she said, turning to him. Isshin shrugged.

"Guess it can't be helped," he said, surprisingly nonchalant about the fact that his daughter was lying in the next room, unconscious and covered in burns. "I'll leave her in your diligent care, Unohana taicho." Unohana smiled.

"She will need constant surveillance for a while," she continued, "until we are sure that her vital signs have stabilized. She is still weak. I will have a squad member stay with her at all times…"

"I'll do it," Hitsugaya said seriously. "I'll stay with her." All eyes turned towards him.

"Hitsugaya taicho," Unohana said calmly, "I know you are worried about her, but I assure you, she will recover. She could be in this coma for weeks…"

"I don't care," he insisted. "I'm staying with her."

"Hitsugaya taicho," Isshin butted in. "I know you are worried about my daughter, but surely your squad needs you…"

"Since when have you cared about responsibility?" Hitsugaya spat. Matsumoto shot him a warning look, and Hitsugaya understood. Isshin may be his old colleague, but he was also Karin's father. Surely Isshin was just as concerned about Karin as he was. He was just much better at hiding it, and Hitsugaya didn't fail to notice the irony.

"I grant Hitsugaya taicho temporary relief from all responsibilities until Kurosaki Karin has recovered enough to leave 4th squad," announced a voice, and Hitsugaya tried very hard to keep his shock in check as he turned to face Yamamoto.

"Why?" he asked darkly, not entirely inclined to trust the soutaicho after everything that had just happened.

"It's the least I can do," he replied. "I can imagine what you have gone through. Let this be my way of apologizing." Hitsugaya glared at him suspiciously. There was no way Yamamoto could understand the pain and suffering he had just experienced. And he could never remember Yamamoto apologizing for anything before. But, as rare as that was, it was even more unlikely that he was joking. The old man had absolutely zero sense of humor.

"Thank you," Hitsugaya said respectfully. Yamamoto nodded, then left, haori billowing out behind him.

"Arrogant prick," Matsumoto muttered, and Hitsugaya almost smiled.

"Would you like to see her?" Unohana offered. Hitsugaya nodded, but Matsumoto shook her head.

"I think taicho may want to be alone with her, don't you think?" she asked, turning to Isshin. Hitsugaya felt a rush of gratitude he didn't know was possible towards his fukutaicho.

"I agree," Isshin said, beaming down at Hitsugaya and clapping him on the back. "But I'll be by in a while. You'll need to sleep at some point. I'll split the shifts with you."

oooooooooooooooooooooo

Hitsugaya entered Karin's room alone and felt rather like he had just walked into a horror film. There were all sorts of tubes flowing from bags of multicolored medicine into a mummy stretched out on the bed in the center of the room. He knew that was Karin laying there, wrapped head to foot in bandages, but it could have been Mayuri for all he could see of her. His chest constricted and he forced himself not to cry out. Grabbing a chair from the corner, he dragged it to her bedside to begin his vigil.

A little while later, Isane came in.

"Hitsugaya taicho," she said cautiously. "I need to change Kurosaki-san's bandages." Hitsugaya stood back, and watched with a sickening feeling as Isane unwrapped Karin's face and arms. The smell of rotting flesh filled the room instantly. Bravely, Hitsugaya looked at her. Her skin was red and peeling, like a lizard's scales. The edges of the flakes were tinged with black and green, courtesy of the frostbite that was the result of her contact with Hyourinmaru. Hitsugaya tried not to vomit. Isane coated her skin in a salve, then rewrapped her in fresh bandages.

"Ano, Hitsugaya taicho," she said awkwardly. "Can you please leave so I can finish?" Deciding that now was not the time to point out that he had seen Karin naked many times before, Hitsugaya left the room and waited impatiently for Isane to finish.

Finally, she called him back in.

"Hitsugaya taicho," she began. "Sometimes, when people are in a coma recovering, it helps if they can hear a familiar voice. Why don't you talk to her?"

"I'll do that," Hitsugaya agreed, then took up his chair again as Isane left them alone. "But what am I supposed to talk about?" He looked up and saw one of the bags that was feeding into Karin's arm. The liquid inside was the same color as Masaki's hair.

"I still can't believe Masaki is your mother," he said incredulously. "I guess I can see it. You're more like her than you think."

_"Taicho!" Matsumoto screamed joyfully, barreling into the office with way more enthusiasm than was necessary._

_"You might try warning me before you do that," Hitsugaya groaned, rubbing his ears. "I'm going to go deaf one of these days."_

_"But taicho," Matsumoto continued impatiently. "Masaki finally became a fukutaicho!" Hitsugaya's eye's opened wide in surprise._

_"Really," he said, understanding why Matsumoto was so ecstatic. "Congratulations."_

_"If you're going to congratulate someone, how about the person who got the position?" said a saucy voice. Masaki sauntered in behind Matsumoto and Hitsugaya scowled._

_"I didn't realize you were hiding out," he retorted. "How did you find out before me anyway? Normally these decisions are approved by the taichos first." Masaki giggled._

_"I weaseled it out of Yamamoto soutaicho," she said mischievously. "He's been hinting for weeks that one of the officers in 1__st__ squad was going to get the empty 3__rd__ squad fukutaicho seat and I finally convinced him to tell me it was me. He's going to bring it up at the captain's meeting tomorrow."_

_"I'm so excited for you Masaki!" Matsumoto gushed._

_"Let's just hope you're better at paperwork than your sister," Hitsugaya ridiculed. Matsumoto pouted._

_"Aw, taicho, don't be so mean! Hey, Masaki, let's celebrate! Taicho, you come too!" Hitsugaya sighed._

_"Why would I want to come watch you two drink yourselves into a stupor?" Masaki slammed her hands on his desk and leaned forward._

_"Because we're friends, Hitsugaya taicho!" she stated soundly. Hitsugaya raised an eyebrow._

_"Friends?" he asked curiously. Masaki laughed._

_"Oh come on, I spend almost as much time here as I do with my own squad!"_

_"Yes," Hitsugaya said through gritted teeth. "As evidenced by the lack of work that gets done when you're around." Masaki waved that aside._

_"Come on Hitsugaya taicho! Please come celebrate with us! We'll even save the sake until you leave. Just come for dinner. What do you say?" Hitsugaya looked up at two women, both giving him puppy-dog eyes, and slapped his forehead in frustration. How on earth did he put up with this?_

_"Alright," he caved. "I'll come for a bit…hey get __**off**__ me!" he cried as four arms wrapped tightly around him, squeezing all the air out of his lungs._

Hitsugaya finished the story and looked lovingly at the pile of bandages in front of him.

"Yeah, definitely your mother's daughter," he said amused. "Conniving and manipulative. At least you turned out to be less of a ditz."

oooooooooooooooooo

Isshin sauntered into 12th squad and glanced around reminiscently.

"Ah, my old haunt," he said with a smile. "What memories I have of this place."

"It's nice to see you have returned, Kurosaki taicho," said a slimy voice behind him, whose tone did not match his words.

"You never were good at lying, Kurotshuchi taicho," Isshin replied without turning around. He heard the cackle behind him.

"On the contrary," Mayuri continued, "with you here, I can see that my experiment was a success."

"Oh yeah," Isshin said thoughtfully. "About that." He whipped around and punched Mayuri square in the chin, sending him sprawling. Mayuri adjusted his broken jaw with interest.

"So you've come for revenge have you?" he hissed. Isshin let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh no, that was satisfying enough!" he replied truthfully. "I'll never forgive you for trying to kill my daughter, but the fact remains that the only reason she exists at all is because of you. So I'll let you off easy this time. Everyone is aware of your little 'experiment' on me now, it's not a secret anymore. And if you lay even a single finger on any of my children in the future, I promise I will fillet you." Isshin gave him a rare warning glare, but it was intimidating enough to make even Mayuri cower for the slightest second.

"Fine," he grumbled as Isshin walked away. "I have other experiments to work on anyway."

**Yeah, so Mayuri's punishment isn't exactly satisfying, but it makes sense if you think about it. And kudos to moopy for realizing how much damage Hyourinmaru would take after his little trip into hell.**


	12. Trial By Fire

**Last chapter!**

_Hitsugaya was crying. Tears that were even rarer than his smiles poured down his cheeks, forming puddles on his collar and sleeves. Karin reached out and placed a protective arm around him, and he fell into her, curled up like a baby, needing the comfort her arms provided._

_"You know, there's nothing attractive about this," Karin chided. Hitsugaya responded by pressing his head against her neck. She stroked his hair gently._

_"I need you," he pleaded. "I…I can't live without you. Please come back to me."_

_"What are you talking about?" she said with a laugh. "I'm right here!"_

_"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I'm so sorry. It's all my fault! If only I hadn't waited as long as I did, if I had attacked before they pushed you through, you wouldn't be like this! I…I can barely recognize you." Karin looked down at her hands. They were white and rough, just like they always were. She touched her face. It felt normal._

_"What do you mean, you can't recognize me?" she asked with concern. "Don't you know who I am?!" Hitsugaya wept even harder._

_"You must be in so much pain!" he said in a strangled voice. "And the frostbite didn't help, ice only makes burns hurt more. Karin, I'm so sorry."_

_"Stop apologizing!" Karin scowled, getting angry now. "What the heck did you do?"_

_"Please," he begged. "Please wake up."_

"I'm awake!" Karin cried, but suddenly found that she wasn't where she thought she was. She was lying on a soft white bed, covered in bandages. Hitsugaya was not in her arms, nor was he blubbering like a child into her shoulder. Her head spun slightly as she got her bearings.

"A dream?" she thought. "But it felt so real…Wait, why am I alive?"

"She's not awake," said a frustrated voice beside her. "She's just talking in her sleep again. Stop getting your hopes up, idiot!" Karin turned. Hitsugaya was sitting in a chair beside her bed, and she had to admit, she had never seen him look worse. His face was drawn and pale, like he hadn't eaten or slept well in quite some time. His right hand was red and cracked, as if it was healing from some terrible injury.

And then it hit her. Her dream! Her dream of hellfire and familiar ice. Hitsugaya hadn't sent Hyourinmaru after her to kill her! He had sent him in to save her! She grinned.

"No, this time, I really am awake," she said. The look of surprise on his face was priceless. Karin tried to laugh, but found it painful, so she stopped.

"Karin," Hitsugaya said cautiously, not daring to believe that she was actually awake.

"Yes Toushiro?" she said amused, beaming from ear to ear. But he seemed at a loss for words. Ignoring the immense pain that movement brought, Karin reached out her arm and placed her hand on his undamaged one.

"You saved me didn't you?" she asked kindly. Hitsugaya shifted uncomfortably.

"Well, I had help," he admitted. "Your father showed up at the last second. I can't believe I spent so many years in your home and never realized who he was. I guess it was natural, since I never actually saw him, but still." Karin looked at him curiously.

"He's a former taicho," he explained. "Your mother was his fukutaicho. You're technically a soul. Our relationship's legal now." Karin took a moment to process this, then smirked.

"What relationship?" she asked. "I thought I broke up with you?" Hitsugaya gasped, and Karin started to laugh again, stopping abruptly when she remembered how much pain it caused.

"Even after all this time, you still can't take a joke, can you Toushiro?" she teased, and Hitsugaya actually smiled. Karin felt warm all over, but it wasn't from her burns.

"But," she continued, "if you don't give me a kiss right now, I may really have to end it." Hitsugaya stared at her.

"Won't it hurt?" Karin remembered not to laugh this time, but it was difficult.

"I don't care," she replied. "Pain's not all that bad." Hitsugaya smiled again, then leaned over and kissed her as gently as he could. But Karin wouldn't stand for that and grabbed his head, pulling him closer, almost enjoying the pain she felt as she moved. The fact that she was alive to experience this pain was a symbol of her lover's undying devotion to her. She wouldn't trade it for anything.

Hitsugaya pulled back and they smiled at each other. Suddenly, Hitsugaya noticed something and gasped in surprise.

"Karin. Your face! And your hands!" Karin studied her hands. She didn't see anything but red, flaking skin, but Hitsugaya, who had spent the last two months at her bedside, noticed immediately.

"They're…healing," he said in amazement. Karin smirked.

"Yes Toushiro," she said as if explaining something to a very small child. "That's what happens to wounds over time."

"No!" Hitsugaya exclaimed. "I mean, they look a thousand times better than they did a second ago…" he trailed off as understanding dawned on him.

"I'm the Heavenly Guardian," he said, more to himself than to Karin. "All this time, I've been sitting here, afraid to touch you, when really, that's all you needed!" Karin was thoroughly confused, but Hitsugaya didn't stop to explain. As carefully as he could, he ran his hands over her body, and as he did so, Karin noticed a drastic reduction in the amount of pain she was in. The wounds didn't disappear all at once, but Karin knew they were well on their way to recovery. She thought she could even sit up now. Hitsugaya stared at his hands like he had never seen them before.

"How?" he asked. "I'm only supposed to be able to heal those who protect souls…"

"I do protect souls," Karin said, finally understanding the implications of what had just occurred. "I protect you." Hitsugaya gaped at her, looked down at his hands again, then threw them around her neck, holding her as close to him as he dared, loving the fact that every second of contact brought her closer to recovery.

ooooooooooooooooooo

_"Toushiro?" Karin asked. They were cuddled up on her bed, Karin nestled between his legs with his arms wrapped around her, watching a movie. But neither of them was paying much attention. Karin had seen it a dozen times and Hitsugaya wasn't as entertained by blood and gore as Karin was; injuries were too much a part of his daily life to be considered exciting._

_"Hmm?" he mumbled._

_"What do you think love is?"_

_"Well, it's definitely not this," he replied, indicating the screen, where the main character had just disemboweled a swamp creature while his love interest screamed bloody murder as she was sprayed with slimy goo from the aftermath. Karin pushed him playfully._

_"I'm serious!" she said with a grin, leaning her head back to look at his face. He smiled slightly, then kissed her quickly on the forehead._

_"Why are you all philosophical all of a sudden?" he teased, ignoring the sounds of death coming out of the TV._

_"I have to write a poem about it for school," she replied. Hitsugaya didn't know whether she was joking or not._

_"Really?"_

_"Yes."_

_"You have to write a love poem?" he asked incredulously. "How lame." Karin chuckled._

_"I know. My teacher's a hopeless romantic. We think it's because she can't get a date. My friend found her profile on an online dating site a few weeks ago." Hitsugaya shook his head in amusement._

_"But anyway," Karin continued. "My assignment."_

_"So basically, you want help with your homework," Hitsugaya concluded. "You're just like Matsumoto, forcing me to do everything for her. Isn't that cheating?"_

_"No it isn't cheating!" Karin retorted. "And I am __**not**__ like Rangiku-san. I don't make you do all of my work for me. I didn't ask you to write the poem for me, I just asked for help. And you never answered my question. What do you think love is?" Hitsugaya thought for a moment._

_"Love isn't something that can really be described in words," he replied pensively. "It's more of a complicated mixture of feelings and actions. Just saying 'I love you' doesn't mean anything without the physical proof to back it up. You have to be willing to sacrifice everything for the other person. To be there for them even when they don't ask you to be. To protect them with your life. To stay by their side no matter what obstacles you face or what barriers you have to cross. I think that love can't be considered real until it's gone through a trial by fire. You know, really been tested. Something where both parties are faced with a difficult choice, and make their decision based on what's best for the other, even though it means tremendous self sacrifice. Love doesn't mean a thing if all it does is make you feel good." He finished and they both sat in silence, thinking about what he just said. Hitsugaya was amazed and slightly embarrassed that those words had actually come out of his mouth._

_"Wow," Karin said impressed. "Who's poetic now?"_

_"Shut up!" Hitsugaya growled and Karin laughed. She looked back at the movie where the hero, drenched in muck and blood, was being embraced by his equally filthy girlfriend._

_"I would go to hell and back for you!" he said dramatically as she melting into his arms. They kissed exaggeratedly and Karin hit the power button on the remote as the ending credits started to play._

_"Trial by fire huh?" she mused, leaning her head back again. "Toushiro, would you go to hell and back for me?"_

_"Only if there are no swamp creatures," he replied, skipping her forehead and going straight for the upside-down kiss. Karin smiled at how different it felt to be kissed that way. In an amazing display of flexibility, she maneuvered her body around, flipped her head upright, and pushed Hitsugaya onto his back, all without breaking the kiss. As she felt her lover's arms snake around her back, Karin decided that for them, a trial by fire was unnecessary, but that if it ever came, they would pass with flying colors._

**The End**

**Wow, I can't believe this story is over. This one was really hard to write. There were so many different emotions and it was much darker than the stuff I usually write, but now that it's over, I think this is one of my favorites.**

**Congrats to ShikallllTema for remembering the Heavenly Guardian bit. It had to be useful somehow right?**

**Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed this story. So many of you told me that this was your favorite story, or that this story turned you on to HitsuKarin that I almost cried for joy (scratch that, I definitely fangirl squealed audibly every time I read a review like that). Oh, and Tsukihime nee, I loved getting called Grn-chan, that was really exciting. I love you all to pieces. Thanks everyone!**

**Oh, and at the moment I'm fresh out of ideas, so if you want another story, some inspiration would be most appreciated. It doesn't have to be much, this story came from a one sentence suggestion from animalgun, and look what happened!**

**Sorry I rambled, thanks a zillion for reading!**

**-GrnEydDvl**


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